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  1. The bottomless pit in my stomach just won't pass. As time goes by, things have just been like treading water. Not quite drowning but barely breathing. I can hardly eat and when i do i feel sick. i just had my bday and my good for nothing mother who stood by while my abuser hurt me and then she blamed me while she was gone for days on end had the nerve to call and beg me to call her that she doesn't remember why we dont talk. really??? is that possible??
  2. At work. Still feeling so alone. tired. haven't logged in in a few days. Nice to se there are people out there reading what I have to say.
  3. does it ever stop does it ever get easier why now after all these can i not stop thinking about what happened to me why can't i be stronger i pray for the strength all the time im tryng to put my faith in god. what does it mean when your step father does this to you, being raised in a christen family, with this man a pillar in our church? recording porn over my church videos and making me watch it. I was so anti social about church and god for so long now why do i feel like this is all coming up now after 17 years of silence that I'm on the internet writing
  4. has anyone had a problem with their sex lives because if this trauma. i have mentality not been able to over my trauma which has made me feel so award with my sexily with my husband. It was fine when there was emotional connection, but now, loving someone and being intimate is so award to me. Is it because my abuser was someone as a child I knew i was suppose to love - my stepfather?? Im almost 32. in the past years I never really cared and would just what my husband wanted. now I'm almost 32 and feel very sexual and don't know how to express it and feel so uncomfortable talking about it......
  5. I too am in a ver similar place. It is so hard to wrap my mind around this as well. I am so sorry this has happened. I never realized how many survivors are out there and my same story. almost all stories and responses that we all have for teacher i have to fight back the tears.
  6. This is my first time on this site. My mom blamed me for what my stepfather did to me after I had the courage to tell her because she was always to high on drugs or out getting drunk and leaving me home with hm for days on end. This happened to me for four years. i was ten when it started .I left just before my 15th bday. Finally I had the courage to run away. She never came looking. I had just lost my father, the greatest man in the world, and this is what I got. We didn't speak for many years, not till my 18th bday and she was no different, still a drunk and druggy.
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