I was raped on a beach in North Carolina 29 years ago. I was 18. I blamed myself for the rape and never reported it.
I became pregnant as the result of the rape and made the difficult decision to terminate the pregnancy.
I never told my parents because I knew they would blame me for making a stupid decision. I told a few friends, and years later mentioned it to a therapist, but never really talked about it. I thought I had delt with it because I convinced myself it was my fault because I was drunk.
I don't know where I kept the shame and trauma and everything that comes with it for all those years but...It's all coming out now.
NOW, I know he raped me and it wasn't my shame to bear, it was his. I am also learning that the feelings I buried 29 years ago, were buried alive and I'm feeling the trauma now as if it happened recently.
I need help and support as I'm going through this process. I've called rape crisis centres, but they don't really know what to do with me because this happened so long ago. I'm not sure where I will find it, but I thought I would try here.