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Free2Fly

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Status Updates posted by Free2Fly

  1. Feel triggered by something my mum was watching...

     

    i wont go into detail about what it was but.

    the way I feel inside is I'm crying on the inside and feel scared for some reason :( ...

    maybe new trigger?

    1. Bluesclues

      Bluesclues

      I'm so sorry josh. I wish I knew how to help. I don't. I am sitting with you. 

    2. Field8

      Field8

      I'm so sorry. I triggered myself. Please pm me if you need anything

    3. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Safe hugs :hug: both of you.

      i appreciate it ... I've never felt like this before honestly...

      my mum likes to watch crime documentaries, and it was about an really evil guy... I guess it probably just triggered memories of the past... :( .

       

      @Bluesclues, it's okay not to know the answer just being friendly is enough :hug: .

      @Field8, thank you I'm sure you have other stuff to deal with.

  2. Feel Crap and worthless right now :( & it's freezing cold but at the same time I want the fresh air.

  3. Hey how's it going :) ?

  4. Feel really ill & run down ... it's super cold and the pain ican bearly open my eyes.

    1. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Thank you josiel :hug: , will try not to spread my germs lol.

    2. LuthienTinuviel
    3. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Thanks blt , have got hay fever too so I can only just see properly need to get medicine for it as it hurts . Hope your okay :hug: 

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  5. Feeling seriously down and lost right now all I can think about is how they did things to me... :cry: feels so wrong I don't feel like I am coping well right now.

    1. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Thank you @snmls

      Feel like isolating myself so tired and alone , kinda struggle to find reason to be happy anymore. :( 

    2. snmls

      snmls

      I'm sorry your feeling this way.  It's definitely a tough place to be, I know.  Just take it one moment at a time. 

    3. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      I will try to , thank you though @snmls :hug: 

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  6. Feeling unwell and tired and weak too. Hate this cold it's so draining.

    1. BraveOne

      BraveOne

      Safe hugs and some chicken soup for you.

    2. Field8

      Field8

      please take care of yourself

    3. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      @LuthienTinuviel safe hugs are ok :hug: thank you.

       

      @Oneinamillion thank you :hug: , starting to hate this cold already apart from making me feel drained and tired my throats hurting too. Chicken soup sounds amazing right now.

       

      @Field8 :hug: I will try to , you take care of yourself too.

       

      thank you to you all for kind replies, sorry I didn't reply sooner this cold is making me really sleepy to the point all I can do is sleep.

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  7. Struggling right now I keep dissociating & think about bullies and how physical the was... & if maybe they hurt me too... :( 

  8. Not doing so good :( 

    memories are preventing me from sleeping & I feel like I am changing again.... I feel like I know longer care & almost everything around me gets to me .

     

    i'm so done with these Crap memories.

    1. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      It's okay , thank you though :console:.

       

      hope your doing okay?

    2. tuliptorn
    3. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Thanks tulip 🌷 

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  9. Feeling creeped out and kinda dissociating... :( 

    1. tuliptorn

      tuliptorn

      Hope you are feeling more stable now. ((((Free))))

    2. mariella47

      mariella47

      Hang in there free2fly!! Sending safe hugs if that's okay :hug:

    3. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Hey :hug: if okay?

       

      Thank you @tuliptorn & @mariella47

       

      i am doing better cause I am no longer triggered but I am ill :ill::sneeze: so yeah currently I have a headache and feel like I am gonna throw up & I can't sleep cause I keep having flashbacks... things that I said .... things that happened and how the world have changed & how I want my attachment to him to disappear but it doesn't seem to go away... :( .

       

      hope your both okay.

       

       

  10. Today is going okay it's kinda chilled out hope everyone's okay.

    :hug: if okay?

    Listening to : 

     

  11. I feel like a crap person right now :cry: 

    1. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Thanks Dante :) ,

       

      i am not much of an outdoor person I have a vitamin D deficiency I am on vitamin D tablets for the rest of my days :( 

       

      but hey its not all bad.

       

      i will try to... just not doing the best but I have T on Wednesday.

    2. MermaidGirl91

      MermaidGirl91

      Lots of safe hugs my friend.

    3. chlo
    4. Show next comments  9 more
  12. So recently I have been quite absent from myself or disconnected rather can't really understand why, I just feel so out of character like someone else is taking my place while I watch days go by.

     

    i am also struggling with I guess I could say they were feelings or urges one of the two.

     

    anyway can anyone relate or maybe give some advice?

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Aww :). Thank you :blush:

      i appreciate it so much.

       

      hope your doing okay too :up:

       

       

    3. Painnbroken

      Painnbroken

      You're very welcome! I'm doing okay thank you for asking :)

    4. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      :) glad to hear it . :hug: 

    5. Show next comments  9 more
  13. Want to cry but all I can do is laugh instead of crying... kinda feel like I am going insane. :( 

    1. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Oh... ok...

    2. limbodante

      limbodante

      I don't mean that harshly. Just relax. Don't think good or bad or "it should be some other way." Just enjoy a good laugh, there are all sorts of physiological benefits to a good belly laugh :)

    3. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Ok , thanks limbo :) 

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  14. Feel crazy and alone...

    honestly feels like I am craving attention but there's absolutely non , as far as crazy goes feel :blush:... yeah kinda weird and all I feel like I can do is laugh crazily and think these weird thoughts that I can't resolve or fix .

     

    in the past few days I have thought about what my abusers did and they Have destroyed me in more ways than I thought.... there's so much that I just can't deal with and cope with hell I don't cope at all it's just a brace face that tells you "yeah I am okay, how are you?" While underneath I am like this is a F***ing disaster...

     

    I am Broken for sure & my guess the extent is major my head can be messed with so so easily it's unreal.

    1. MermaidGirl91

      MermaidGirl91

      Sitting with you my friend. You are not alone.

  15. Having flashbacks backs of when you hurt me, god I wish I could punish you somehow.

    your really don't know the pain you've caused.

     

    :cry::tear: 

    1. MermaidGirl91

      MermaidGirl91

      Lots of safe gentle hugs love. :hug::hug:

      Always here for you.

    2. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Thank you, :hug:

       

      i am always here here for you too my friend.

       

      :):love-smiley-024:( as a friend )

       

      free :butterfly::tealribbon: 

    3. MermaidGirl91

      MermaidGirl91

      Haha I love that face! It says it all. Hope you are doing well my friend.

  16. Sitting in a corner  crying,  hiding my tears from my brother so he doesn't ask what's wrong and the truth is ever since she stole my innocence I have been broken and I will never get it back .

    she got me hooked to a feeling that feel :wub::cry: 

     

    what am i to do....

     

    :tear: 

    1. MermaidGirl91

      MermaidGirl91

      Oh sweetie. Take things one day at a time. I'm always here.

    2. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      I wish it was so simple but it's not it never is... I feel like I have messed up again and things have gone worse than before.

  17. Feeling like a fool & could do with a hug as things are getting me down and I am questioning why I am here on AS & do I want to heal when it's so much easier just to be in denial.

     

    :sadang:

    1. snmls

      snmls

      You are definitely not a fool Free2Fly! Healing is tough, but I know you can do it.  Remember to make time for yourself. :hug:

    2. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      :tear: thanks @snmls,

      i don't know, making time for myself is quite hard for me , I've been told people like me ... we don't switch off.

      & the Abuse in my head does take a day off , tonight before family we're getting dinner my sister(my R**eist) she joked with my siblings about being a virgin until she was 16 which is b*llsh*t she knows what she did to me :tear: I was her first and it hurt so much.

       

      free :cry: 

    3. snmls

      snmls

      I'm really sorry to hear about that Free2Fly.  That sounds like it would be really difficult to sit through.  Sitting with you if that's okay. 

    4. Show next comments  9 more
  18. April is bringing me down & flashbacks aren't helping me at all. :tear:

    1. josiel

      josiel

      Flashbacks are horrible.  Hope you feel better soon!  If ok, :hug:

    2. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Thank u @josiel,

      :( I hope your doing okay?

      the flashbacks were quite intense yesterday & everything around me slowed down & all I could feel was fear and my heart beating fast.

       

      hoping it doesn't happen today.

       

      thank you for for the hugs safe gentle hugs are the best.

       

      :hug: if okay?

       

      free :butterfly::tealribbon: 

       

  19. Hey BLT,

     

    How are you doing today?

    :) 

     

     

    1. LuthienTinuviel

      LuthienTinuviel

      I'm alright. You? 

    2. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      Yeah I am doing okay for once :) , glad your okay will be around if you need anything :) 

       

      free :butterfly: 

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