ttrying

One of my strongest memories  is from when I was watching the Oscars with my first real boyfriend, who was also the first person I ever told about my assault, and Lady Gaga came on and performed Til It Happens To You. I cried in his arms but I didn't feel weak, I felt strong and it was a really special moment for both of us. For anyone who hasn't heard the song or seen that live performance I definitely recommend looking it up, it will most likely trigger a lot of emotions but it features survivors standing together and it is so beautiful and empowering. Since then, well actually since the first time I ever heard the song and saw the music video, it has stuck with me in a really special way. As some of you know, I am a competitive dancer, and so I often compete lyrical/contemporary solos. At the last two competitions, a solo to Til It Happens to You has been in my category. The first time, it was right after mine and when I saw the name on the list before I went on stage it psyched me out a bit but I kept it together until I saw the dance after and cried because it was so beautiful. At the next competition, another dance to Til It Happens to You was the number right before mine. There are so many dances at competitions so having this happen twice was a crazy coincidence. I watched as much as I could from the wings and it did not psych me out. It empowered me. I channeled these true raw real emotions and I went on stage and gave it everything I had. It made me stronger. I scored really well and placed in the overalls. I'm not a super spiritual person but I believe this song follows me and sometimes plays exactly when I need it to. Just wanted to share. Thanks for listening