Broken8

Thank you Valentina She has always said to me on and off throughout about time to be fair to her. She keeps claiming that she is going to get support soon. I guess that I get frustrated that this hasn't happened yet. Every so often it seems like she has pushed me out of her life for good only for her to appear again a few weeks later and perhaps as we have got closer and the more times that it has happened it becomes more damaging to myself? I did promise myself that I would not abandon her though and that I would be there for her whenever she needed me. I know it's silly but part

Yeah, sure Phoenixxx, I'll send you a PM and add you to the convo that I have been having with Patricia to give you some perspective on my story.

Coming from a secondary survivors point of view, please don't feel guilty about talking to your husband and friend about what have already shared with them. Trust me, it hurts me a lot more when I can see my partner/friend shutting down and suffering on her own and pushing me away rather than opening up to me about what is troubling her. It is not your fault what you went through and I hope that you find all of the support that you need, please don't cut out those whose support you have relied upon already though, if they want to be there for you then let them be there for you. Goo

Love this post Thank you for thinking that way and for sharing. It gives me hope that my friend/partner will learn to accept that this is the reality.

Hi Elinor, So sorry to hear about what has triggered you. The ignorance of some people is unbelievable! I've only been on here a few days, but so glad that I have found a place where I can talk to people who can understand. Hope that you find all of the help and support that you are looking for here and that you are able to positively move on and get all of the help and advice that you and your boyfriend may need and deserve.

Thank you to TannyLuck and Struggling88 too. If any of you above would like to PM me and chat further then I'll add you to more of my background story which I have been discussing with the lovely Patricia. Thanks once again Patricia.

I'm willing to talk to you or him about it if it helps?

Thank you Mary I know patience is the key and joked to a lady who works in my local supermarket when having problems with one of them self service tills yesterday evening, that it was okay when she apologised to me standing there getting frustrated. I said something like "it's okay, the most impatient man in the world has been taking lessons for the last 3 years and is now one of the most patient." I know that she isn't purposefully being difficult and I also know that she feels guilty because she can see that she is hurting me and that perhaps she thinks that I am better off withou

I'm so sorry to hear that Valentina. Did you give your husband any choice or was it his decision to walk away in the end? I fear that I am just on a vicious cycle of more and more hurt for myself too. I hope that things get better again than they are right now, I hope that I can see my partner/friend come through this one day. Is that all it is though, just hope? I'm scared too now. Scared of a future without her and scared of a future with her in it.

That's exactly what it feels like Patricia, like I have almost lost myself. Things aren't helped by me not living with my partner and so when I am pushed away it can be extremely tough.

Totally feel lost and devalued at the moment, like I have been on the edge of a nervous breakdown for the last week or so. Have been supporting a partner/friend for the last 3 years almost. We have been intimate, I have supported her and been pushed away etc. Could really do with opening up to a few people on here (survivors or other secondarys) as it feels like I am losing my own sanity at times.