[The time has come]

6 hours ago, kate91 said:

Hi everyone,

I have just joined AS and it's great to see how much love and support there is in these forums. I find it really comforting and it's really going to aid me in allowing myself to open up and share my story so that I can begin the process of healing. After 13 years of remaining silent, it's time for me to step up and help myself. This will be a good first step for me I think. The hard part will be facing my shadow side and some very deeply stored trauma that doesn't want to come anywhere near the surface.

Thanks for lending your ears

Kate 

I'm sorry for what brings you hear Kate but am glad you are here and seeking the support you so deserve! 

My ears are on standby for you any time you need them 

[First steps]

Sorry for what brings you here @sue31  

You are definitely in a place of support and understanding though. And good for you for taking these first steps on the road to healing  Wishing you all the best! 

[Still struggling years later]

Welcome to AS @BeesKnees0324. I'm sorry for what brings you here, but want you to know you are certainly among friends here and a great (from what I've found) support system. 

And congratulations on your soon-to-be baby girl  It's very common for these feelings/struggles to surface (/re-surface) when any sort of "life changing" event happens. The fact that you are about to have a daughter and given your history, it is no surprise that this is suddenly plaguing your thoughts now. 

I'm the same age as you and my abuse too happened when I was a child and I am also just very recently feeling the struggle that I (somehow) managed to avoid for most of my young adult life so I understand completely where you're coming from. Here are a few things that I've found helpful (so far):

1) Reading Survivors books ("The Courage to Heal" and "It Wasn't Your Fault" are two that I've picked up personally)

2) Keeping a private journal of my thoughts (sometimes I feel like I can't tell people some things, but they are begging to be let out. Writing in my journal helps get them out)

3) Posting here at AS has helped me I think quite a bit. Without the support of these lovely people I never would have been able to work up the courage to seek out counselling, or to speak up about my struggling to a family member (that turned out to be very helpful to me, I can't believe I waited this long to do so!).

I hope some of these things are able to help you as well in your journey to healing. I have no doubt you are going to take extra-special care of your little one  Congrats again! And feel free to message me if you ever need a chat!

[I'm new here]

welcome to AS Sjny23

I think you'll find a lot of support here and some really great people who truly understand what you're going through. I know I have and I haven't been here that long.

I'm so sorry for what happened to you  

[newbie]

thank you everyone for such kind words, your support means so much I'm so glad to have found this supportive community  

I have yet to find any counselling/therapy so I feel like this is a definitely a good start. 

[newbie]

12 minutes ago, aftersilence1 said:

Welcome to AS, Randi. I can relate to not really being able to talk fully with in person friends/family. And, I also understand about bottling things up. I just started to deal with my childhood sexual abuse two months ago after 30 years of denial. And, I just started to deal with my sexual assault last week after not realizing it was sexual assault for over 20 years. So, I get it. Glad you made it to AS. I hope that this is a healing space for you.

I'm glad I came here, I thought I was absolutely crazy that all these feelings are coming back NOW, years later, with no apparent reason as to why. Its comforting even to know that I'm not the only one. I feel like my family won't understand it. Sure, they'll feel bad for me, but in my head I feel like they'd be thinking "yeah but, that was over a decade ago! didn't we deal with this already when you were 16?" I know they'd never say that, and maybe they'd never really feel that, but they still also wouldn't get it, either.

[newbie]

Hey everyone,

I'm new to this site and hoping to gain some insight from others (and who knows, maybe even be able to provide some at some point to others) and to just generally get involved in a community where I don't feel like I have to tip-toe around my feelings like I do with the (very few) family members that know of my past. I do have a very supportive family, but I don't go to them my issues that relate to my past sexual abuse because I feel like A) they can't really understand me, B) they feel guilty that it happened which just makes me feel bad because THEY feel bad, and C) sometimes its just easier to talk to "strangers".

Although my abuse ended over a decade ago I really never actively tried to heal from it (I'm more the "bottle it up and shove it way down deep inside where nobody can ever find it" type of person) but apparently I could only hold back that dam from bursting for so long (spoiler alert: it burst!) and so I thought this might be one way to start on my path to healing. Most experts say the best way is to TALK about it and like I said, I don't really have anyone in my life that I particularly want to talk about it with and also I figure, who better to talk to then the people who can relate and hopefully we can all gain something from each other, even if its just a listening ear or a virtual hug  

So, hi everyone.