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Blog Comments posted by Hawkgirl

  1. I know where you are.  Sometimes I think too much too.  There are times I wish I could take out certain parts.  My abuse and later trying to view myself afterward.  My new normal is to not allow myself or anyone else to put me down.  You feel alone, and that is understandable.  I can say there will come a time when you won't feel alone.  There will come a time when you will be able to feel again and to trust again.   I had to relearn some things.  I had to change a few things too.  The new normal consists of taking care of the aftermath.  It is like someone dropping a cluster bomb.  It's devastating and there is a grief that is all its own.   It means healing includes grieving.  It means it includes the changes that have been made.  It means cleaning up some intensely personal things.   I can remember a time when I felt safe and then that feeling totally disappeared for me.   I didn't feel safe again until I got my dog.   Living in my apartment was an exercise in fear.   Being alone was a whole new thing and I thought that living away from family would help.   It did for a significant amount of time.  Your abuse sent you the same messages my abuse sent me.   But the truth is, you are not ugly, you are not by any means worthless, you are not stupid, you are loved, and you have someone who cares for you.   I don't have any agenda, I just want to see you soar.  I want to see you know for yourself how very precious you are.  We are all valuable.  Everyone here is valuable.  Those who have attacked us saw something beautiful and tried to take it for themselves.  They even tried to make it seem like what they were doing was perfectly fine and the problem really lay with us.   The problem is with them.  The problem needs to be related to them.  You are bold, you are beautiful and you have what it takes to heal.  The journey is slow sometimes.  You can't quit.  You will make it through this.   Keep looking up.

  2. A body trigger can vary from person to person.  For example a body trigger for me is often a person the same or similar shape and build as my abusers.   For me, these people remind me of my abusers and that causes anxiety and hyper awareness.  I start trying to figure out ways to get away from whomever it is.  Now of course these people cannot help their physical appearance.  Their physical attributes are based largely on genetics. But for me, being around them involves being in the present moment.  Dealing in the present moment has helped me considerably and may help you to.   Keep looking up. 

  3. Stich,

     He doesn't deserve the ability to take away your enjoyment of your favorite coffee spot.  I know how it is to be sexually harassed.  I had someone do that to me and I turned him in.  After all, it wasn't like I made it up,. Long story short, when someone does something like that you aren't ruining their life by turning them in.  It is a consequence for their own inconsiderate and ill thought action.  It is trying to protect someone who should be exposed.  If he gets fired, he threw his job away provided he did that at his current place of work.  He was wrong and he should know by now that there are consequences to follow. If you don't want to put your name out there, use a pseudonym.   Email corporate though one of those contact us pages if the company has that and go from there.  Also, this guy doesn't get to ruin your life.  He is not worthy of that ability.  You don't deserve to be harassed and you don't deserve to be degraded.  Sorry to hear his mind is sick enough to think otherwise,.  In the end, do what is best for you.    Keep looking up,.  

  4. TRIGGER WARNING - Standing up to him is the thing they don't expect.  It is hard to feel right about that sort of power but to me it is just that power.  It is reclaimed power in that fear doesn't get to keep running things.  My abusers didn't see prison.  Actually their lives are going quite well.  Standing up to him, in your case,  is actually a good thing.  You knocked it out of the park, Angelinas.  I have found for myself that standing up to them for whatever the reason was both liberating and empowering.  It feels strange when you stand up to them because that is not what you are used to doing.  I could understand where you were coming from because in my case, I told my stepfather.  His reply to that was I was a list of undesirable names.  He then threatened to tell my mother on me.  He let me sweat that out until it was close to her coming home from work.  He decided to show "mercy" and not say anything at all.  Standing up to people like that is hard sometimes.  It changes how you see them and it changes how you interact with them.  You have the right to be happy.  You have the right to be respected and you have the right to enjoy life.  No one has the right to walk on you, mistreat you or hurt you.   

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