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Posts posted by Hawkgirl

  1. Hi Dannie,

      Welcome to AS.  I am so sorry for what you have experienced.  I know how much that hurts.  But I want you to know you aren’t disposable. You are not disposable.  What that person did to you was wrong.  It was unfair and it hurts. It is ok to cry, it is ok to mourn and it is ok to say that you are hurting.  I think people try to make us fix things when we are younger without acknowledging who the problem party really is.  I understand about wanting to leave.  I understand about wanting to run away.   I too heard the lie that time heals all wounds.  Some sounds are too deep for time to heal.  Often what one faces is downplayed because it unpleasant.  Mentioning counseling gets the uncomfortable glances and people give the side eye.  It is ok, there are people here who do care about you.   There are people here willing to walk with you too.  I want you to know you are not alone and his actions don’t define you.

    Sitting with you :candle:





  2. 1 hour ago, Looking4theSun said:

    Hello everyone. I've come to this site numerous times in the past few months but never had the strength to sign up. I kept trying to ignore everything that happened but today I'm having a very low day so I decided to make that first step. No one knows and I've been feeling extremely alone for a long time. I can't keep living this way so I'm ready to start my journey towards finding comfort and healing.


    Welcome to AS!   I am sorry for the trauma you experienced.  I think you will find a vsupportive community here.   Each journey toward recovery is different.  One of the first things is to be good to yourself.   :notalone::aswelcomesu:  

  3. Hi. Schnitzel,

      Welcome to AS.  Family and friends don’t understand the aftermath.  They see it as that was then and this is now.  Sometimes I think they would understand if it were  something that happened to them.   It is most unfair as we try to come to terms with the pain we feel inside and the aftermath too.  Their perspective only adds to the pain.   I am sorry for all you have experienced.   I have found this space to be very supportive and have learned a few things along the way.  I hope you find the same as well.    

  4. Hi Sonny, welcome to AS.  You will find alot of people who understand in some way what you are dealing with.  @howlieowl is right,. You will find support here and friendship too.   You can heal, you aren't alone and we are here to support you too.   

  5. @Zoe7 

    Hi and welcome to AS.  I am sorry for what brought you here but I am glad you found us.   I want to start out by saying you are not alone.  There are times something like this can leave you feeling isolated and alone.  You aren't alone.  You can heal and it's not your fault.  

  6. @mary0331 

    Hi and welcome to AS. I am sorry for what brought you here but I am glad you found us.  I am also sorry your husband is abusive to you and has treated you so poorly.  You didn't deserve that.  You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.   Do you have any hobbies you like to engage in?  Hobbies that get you out of the house?   Painting, drawing, writing classes?  Some community colleges offer free courses based on age.  Some courses are free or low cost based on enrichment.  They are designed to for people who aren't going after a degree.    Going to a support group is also another thing that can help too.  Those can be just as varied as anything else.   But those can he helpful too. As for AS, take a look around.  You will find plenty of support here.  There are alot of caring people here.  The main thing to remember is you are not alone.  If I can help, please let me know.   Sending safe hugs if ok. :hug:Sitting with you :candle:

  7. @Cam Francia 

    Hi and welcome to AS.  I am sorry for what brought you here but I am glad you found us.   You have really been through something terrible and I can imagine the pain of keeping that secret inside.  Abuse sends us all the wrong messages and we have to sort those out in the process. The first thing to learn is you are not alone.  There are many people who have been through abusive situations.  You asked what do you need to do.  Would you believe you already on your way?  Yes, you are already engaged in the healing process.  Now some people go to support groups both online and IRL.  Some go through counseling.  While counseling is a big one, each person's healing process is unique to them.  If you choose to go into counseling, be sure to try to find someone who specializes in Child Sexual Abuse.  Keep an open mind because the first therapist aka T might not be the best one or right one for you.  If you go for counseling aka C, the same is true.   Part of the healing process is working toward being able to tell the story.  For me that meant not keeping their secret any more. It meant being honest about what really happened and putting a voice to that pain which had been silent for so long.  That might mean journaling about your experiences.  It might mean talking with a friend about your experiences.  It might mean going to RAINN for online chat about what happened.  No one can tell you what your healing path will look like.   One of the things you definitely need is a support system.  Some people who are here don''t have one to speak of and this is their support system.  Rather you choose counseling, therapy, support group or online support group, make sure you are good to yourself.  Do you have any grounding techniques in place for when thoughts come up and flashbacks play?  Please check out this site.  It is a good place and has a lot of good information for how to heal.  http://dcrcc.org/counseling/no-straight-path/

    Grounding techniques can help shorten the duration of a flashback. There is a lot of information on there that will be of some help to you.  You can also do chat in the chat room here at AS.  You can also visit RAINN for their online crisis chat.  Do something nice for yourself.  Give yourself time and be good to yourself.  One of the common things is to think there was something that you could have done to change the outcome. But it wasn't your fault. You didn't deserve what happened to you.  But you can heal.  Sitting with you and walking with you too, if ok.  :candle:

  8. @Bobbi27

    Hi, welcome to AS.  I am sorry for what brought you here but I am glad you found us.  I am sorry you have felt so isolated when trying to deal with this.  That can be difficult and difficult isn't the proper word for it.  You can move forward with your life and heal.  The healing process is a bit of a journey but it is worth it every step of the way. If you just want to chat, try the chat room.  You are not alone and you can heal. 

    I'll walk with you if you like.  Keep swinging for the fences. :candle:

  9. @Me89 

     Hi and welcome to AS!  I am sorry for what brought you here but I am so glad you found us.   Healing is hard but you are already well on the path.  It takes courage to admit what happened.   Admitting it happened is the major step to healing.  :notalone::youcanheal::aswelcomesu:.  You will find plenty of support here.  When you are ready, there is a place to tell your story.  Take your time.  No pressure to do anything.  One of the biggest mistakes I made early on was trying to heal and rushing through it.  It's tempting but it is unfair to you.  Give yourself time and above all be good to yourself.   

  10. @Scarlet_rise 

    Welcome to AS.  I am sorry for what brought you here but I am glad you found us. :-). You have nothing to be nervous about.  It is entirely fine.  No one here will say your experience is "milder".  Every experience is valid.  When you are ready to tell your story, go for it.  One of the things about coming through this sort of thing is sometimes it is a fight.  Everyone here at some point learned to keep the secret about what happened.  Some learned to down play it.   Never think your experience is milder.  That's down playing it.  The jerk or people who hurt you don't deserve to have their actions downplayed.   As for being braver, you already are braver.  You are in the warrior class with the rest of us.  You survived something terrible.  Healing is possible.  You are already on the road to healing. Keep at it. 

  11. Hi Lunamoon, 

    Welcome to AS.  Try going to RAINN at www.rainn.org.   They have a crisis chat.  I am sorry you have been through such a terrible experience.   If you are outside of the US, i can research some options for you.  Hang in there.  :notalone:


  12. Hi Miss Owlish,

    Welcome to AS.  I am sorry it seems like the universe has it out for you.   Abuse, no matter when it happened is really hard to deal with sometimes.   You aren't alone.  There is someone here that can identify with what you have experienced.  :notalone: :youcanheal:

  13. Hi Wonder Woman!

        Nice to have a fellow Justice League member onboard :lindybear:.  Hopefully you can get to Themyscira soon.  I am sorry that you have experienced trauma too.  There are some who have experienced trauma and have gone through the courts.   Healing can be a challenge but it is totally worth it.  The anxiety is normal as is the depression.  So much has changed and one wants nothing more than for things to go back to the way they were.   I know from my own experience that going back to normal isn't possible.  There is a period of time where mourning takes place as if someone is lost because the innocence is gone.  Nothing you did caused it, and the other person is at fault.  Yet the aftermath is what has to be dealt with.    I think if it as like dropping a cluster bomb on a person.  It's devastating and sometimes rushing healing is tempting.   Hang in there.  

  14. Hi Chris:

    • Welcome to AS.   Glad you are here although I am sorry for the reasons.  Healing is possible and you can heal.  There is no judgment here and you will find people who know what you have been through.   :supportu: :notalone: Sending you safe hugs if ok, :hug:

  15. Hey and welcome!   Your beloved may need to check her spam file.  I know when I signed up it didn't appear in my inbox. I had to check spam and do a search for it.  I think this may help her find her information.  Welcome to AS.   The Puppy Dancers.... :-)


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