Angers getting worse in Public: Welcome! Posted May 1 · Edited May 1 by Hawkgirl 50 minutes ago, Needpeace1 said: Thankyou so much This is so helpful and quite weird that only yesterday I was sat watching telly and I googled help for csa and I came across someone saying to write a letter. I picked up a pad and paper I only managed to write one page and it was full of anger but I did feel a weight lifted. I felt t like some of the aches and pains in my body I live with every day somehow disappeared for a while. I paced up and down my living room crying. A little bit of me thought I was going a little bit crazy but I always manage to talk myself back from a breakdown. Do you get angry towards your mum? I do I moved back i with my mum and dad as i cant seem to get my shit together. I live in the house where it happened and I know I need to move out but it's not going to happen yet. Thankyou for your help and kind words @NeedPeace I live where nearly everything happened too. Although the first place is within driving distance or a bus ride of here. No I don't get angry at my mom, I get angry that she married a man she only knew for 3 months (90 day fiancée) When I look at the price i paid for that decision,, yes I was seeing red. I had never wrote out my experiences before until one day a friend asked me to write about it. I kept those emotions inside locked away and never breathed a word about it. Everything was fine but I was not. So i sat down and tried to write abou tit. I started writing and crying which...is not a pretty picture for me at all. But I could no longer handle the stress and writing became my outlet for it. It is quite therapeutic to do it and it allows you to say whatever you want to say about it. I am glad you were able to write a letter and that it helped some. Honestly, I know it feels like you are going crazy by crying. That is how I felt at first when I finally started crying again. People are concerned when you don't have an emotional reaction to something. I had to tell myself it's s perfectly ok for me to cry.. I go over all the reasons that crying is ok. It is helping me to relieve the pressure cooker that is my temper. It is helping me address some of the pain I am feeling. It is helping me come to the place where I can admit that this hurts. There is nothing wrong with me admitting that I am actually in pain and have been for a long time. As hard as it it to live where these things happened, I don;'t think it is a thing of not being able to get your s*** together and more so things feel really out of control right now. For be, being at home has been difficult. A lot of the things that were happening before are happening now. Habits that don't stop are all around me. Yet, for me, my mom felt I could not live on my own because I would not answer the phone. I wished my mom had thought about some of these things but the truth is, many women grow up and marry men similar to their fathers. I don't want to make that mistake. But I find as I walk the path, I am learning more about myself. I am able to cry if I need to and i fully give myself permission to do that. I consider it part of self care. If you decide to write a story or a book in creative fiction, let me know. I can send you some prompts and then you go from there. I think you will find it healing and you will find a place to channel your anger too. Telling your story may help another to find healing too. Keep swinging for the fences. http://dcrcc.org/counseling/no-straight-path/ I think you will find this helpful.