Random ramblings in Kathyps33 A blog by Kathyps33 Posted September 10, 2016 I know where you are. Sometimes I think too much too. There are times I wish I could take out certain parts. My abuse and later trying to view myself afterward. My new normal is to not allow myself or anyone else to put me down. You feel alone, and that is understandable. I can say there will come a time when you won't feel alone. There will come a time when you will be able to feel again and to trust again. I had to relearn some things. I had to change a few things too. The new normal consists of taking care of the aftermath. It is like someone dropping a cluster bomb. It's devastating and there is a grief that is all its own. It means healing includes grieving. It means it includes the changes that have been made. It means cleaning up some intensely personal things. I can remember a time when I felt safe and then that feeling totally disappeared for me. I didn't feel safe again until I got my dog. Living in my apartment was an exercise in fear. Being alone was a whole new thing and I thought that living away from family would help. It did for a significant amount of time. Your abuse sent you the same messages my abuse sent me. But the truth is, you are not ugly, you are not by any means worthless, you are not stupid, you are loved, and you have someone who cares for you. I don't have any agenda, I just want to see you soar. I want to see you know for yourself how very precious you are. We are all valuable. Everyone here is valuable. Those who have attacked us saw something beautiful and tried to take it for themselves. They even tried to make it seem like what they were doing was perfectly fine and the problem really lay with us. The problem is with them. The problem needs to be related to them. You are bold, you are beautiful and you have what it takes to heal. The journey is slow sometimes. You can't quit. You will make it through this. Keep looking up.