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Hawkgirl

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Status Replies posted by Hawkgirl

  1. Came across this gem on my newsfeed on social media and wanted to share with everyone here.  It is imperative to be compassionate to yourself in times of difficulty. Self-care is a great way to do that to help yourself heal. It is giving yourself permission to pause, to love yourself, to be kind to yourself and remember that you are just human and you are doing your best.  :throb:   Sending you all love and safe hugs!!

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    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      Thank you Cap for this.  I didn’t realize self care was quite so multifaceted.  

    2. (See 3 other replies to this status update)

  2. I need to talk but I don't want to trigger anyone

  3. Does anyone else feel angry or sad that they were unable to have a normal relationship and children because of the sexual abuse?

    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      Yes, and I am sitting with you too.  

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  4. The Monster earned his GED in prison last month. Without thinking, my first reaction was positive. POSITIVE. I thought, "Oh that's wonderful! I am so prou-" When I realized the word proud was coming I stopped short. I realized it wasn't Vasquez that I was thinking of. He is gone. The sweet kid I taught and loved is gone. He is now The Monster and I was sick to my stomach. How on earth could I forget? Even for a second?? Why would my mind EVER remember who he used to be before he terrorized and tore my life to shreds? 

    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      I think it is the desire to be happy for his accomplishment.  Had he never done any of that, you would have been happy for him.  But the other side of that is the kid you knew is gone.  You are so very right.  What is left is a demon monster.  Those were choices he made .  He did that.  I don’t think it is a matter of forgetting what he did.  I think it is a desire to want to rejoice when others rejoice even if he doesn’t deserve that jubilation.  Please be good to yourself.  Sending you hugs 🤗.   You always knock whatever challenges before you out of the park.  

    2. (See 5 other replies to this status update)

  5. Dissociation is bad. Feel so lost in time. Everything has been all distorted for months and I can’t seem to get a grip :( 

  6. i feel like i dont deserve peace and safety.

    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      You deserve both peace and safety.  You deserve them, definitely

    2. (See 4 other replies to this status update)

  7. I give up on everything what’s the point. Everything is my fault. I just want hide away forever. Had enough of this. Have no more left in me. 

    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      Sending you hugs.  It's not your fault.  

    2. (See 5 other replies to this status update)

  8. Tired of it all not sleeping,  nonstop flashbacks. feeling of no self worth,  feeling like people say Im important but I am not, tired of light 

    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      You are very important.  Sending you hugs and sitting with you :hug:

    2. (See 10 other replies to this status update)

  9. I remembered why I don't go out anywhere. It's because I don't fit in anywhere. Even with people I call family. It's hard to be home alone all the time, but it is much worse to be alone when you are actually with other people. Then you are trapped feeling like you are inconvenient and a nothing, which is how I feel tonight.  

    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      They were wrong to do that. You are still not a nothing.  You impact people's lives in ways you can't see.  You make a positive difference in the lives of others.  I know here isn't quite the same as IRL but there are people beyond the screen names.  You are making a difference.  Please don't be discouraged.  

    2. (See 8 other replies to this status update)

  10. I remembered why I don't go out anywhere. It's because I don't fit in anywhere. Even with people I call family. It's hard to be home alone all the time, but it is much worse to be alone when you are actually with other people. Then you are trapped feeling like you are inconvenient and a nothing, which is how I feel tonight.  

    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      You are someone and you are precious. Inconvient? Never!  Nothing? Nope, that doesn't fit you either.  :hug:

    2. (See 8 other replies to this status update)

  11. I'm feeling bad, like I'm an annoyance, taking up space and breathing air that is meant for others. I can't seem to get anything right. I'm tired of trying. 

    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      Sitting with you Juniperberry.  I want you to know you are not worthless.  You are not taking up space.  You are priceless and you have people who care about you.  Sending you safe hugs and dancing puppies.:hug::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear::lindybear:  We are cheering for you.   You will come through this.    

    2. (See 7 other replies to this status update)

  12. Got a voice mail today telling me to ring my mental health team so the can explain what's happening with my appointment with my psychologist tomorrow. I got a feeling this is another one cancelled again. I can't take this anymore!!!!!!!! :cry::cry::cry:

    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      Sitting with you and sending you safe hugs :hug::candle:

  13. My cats have me under their paw. :blink:

    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      Lol yes, the joys of having pets.  My dog has me under his paw.  He's my sweetie boy.

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  14. I'm done with feeling sad and a screw up.

    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      You aren't a screw up.  You are bold, courageous and strong.  I am sitting with you and sending you safe hugs if ok. :hug:

  15. Im in a mood Im not sure of today.  I dont want to be around anyone or even talk or see a single person. I have even shut my phone off which I never do.  Im not sure whats up with me today.

    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      Please be good to yourself.  Sometimes people can be overwhelming and sometimes they add to whatever you are dealing with.  Sending safe hugs if ok :hug:

    2. (See 2 other replies to this status update)

  16. you would hate me if you knew.....

    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      No, I don't think anyone would hate you at all. Sending you safe hugs. :hug:

    2. (See 4 other replies to this status update)

  17. I feel like the ugly duckling today maybe someday ill emerge a beautiful swan after all this trauma goes away

    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      No, you aren't an ugly duckling.  You just can't see how beautiful you really are right now.  Sending you safe hugs if ok. :hug:

  18. Been thinking about you :hug:

    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      @patriciag  Thank you.  Sending you hugs.  Praying for you too. :hug:

  19. Scared to death what this week will be like for me after the treatments.  

    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      :lindybear::lindybear::lindybear: You're gonna make it!  You're gonna come through this!  :lindybear: :lindybear::lindybear:   We are cheering for you here.  Hang in there and keep swinging for the fences.:friends2:

    2. (See 6 other replies to this status update)

  20. Scared to death what this week will be like for me after the treatments.  

    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      In your corner.  Sending you lots of safe hugs too. :hug:

    2. (See 6 other replies to this status update)

  21. I feel so drained. I'm just tired and really need something positive changes in my life. 

    1. Hawkgirl

      Hawkgirl

      Sending safe hugs and sitting with you :hug::candle:

    2. (See 6 other replies to this status update)

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