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violetiris1

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    Female

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    Survivor

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  1. one time I told a T about how i was embarrassed that i was being abused. I thought, why did they choose me? it embarrassed me. but she took the word embarrassed to mean that I chose to do something inappropriate. It made me so angry. So betrayed. Victim blamed. What word do i use to say i feel why did you choose me. why isn't embarrassed an ok word.
  2. I was wondering some ideas on how to be kind to myself? any ideas? i try to tune into how i feel and have that be a starting point..

    1. Hometownglory

      Hometownglory

      Hey there :) Something my T suggested is when I'm feeling negative, write down all the things I'm saying to myself. Then read them out loud. I found this to be really helpful (especially after tuning into how I feel/what I'm thinking) because it separates the thoughts I have from who I am. That is, it's a way to practice this truth: you are not your thoughts. 

    2. violetiris1

      violetiris1

      cool idea thanks so much :)

    3. Hometownglory

      Hometownglory

      No problem :) hope it helps! Rooting for you...

  3. You are so brave to tell your story. I'm really proud of you. I think this is the safest site to heal and tell your story. Welcome. I am so sorry for what you have been through. I can see how you would have trust issues. You leave your house to finally be safe then get abused again :(. I have anger issues and nightmares too. Do you get therapy for PTSD? That could help. I like it here because I hate being in a room alone with therapists. god your dad, step dad, those evil monster guys, and the others. Your voice is heard here. They didn't care about your voice but I do.
  4. yeah this is the only place i feel safe talking about my story.
  5. violetiris1

    my story

    Im so sorry. I feel pretty similarly. Its like I'm a-sexual now or something? I really don't trust people. I have a hard time connecting with others. I have cut out so many people in my life because they victim blamed me. I wish I never told them about being raped. Its been so painful the lack of support and blame. It has crushed me. One time I was reading that trust has more to do with how much you trust yourself to put up boundaries than how trustworthy someone is. its hard for me to tell if my boundaries are being violated. A good rule of thumb is to pay attention to how you feel. If you f
  6. violetiris1

    my story

    I am so sorry avi. You are not worthless. People judge me and think I am. I love having a therapy animal because he will never judge me. unless I don't feed him on time! lol. I'm so sorry people mentally tortured you, and emotionally abused you. feel the same as this post...i don't understand how people can b so cruel. y????????? TW my mom was raped when she was 4. they victim blame her. her maid also called her a pig. They think she was a sl*t and that she was wearing stockings that were not high enough. Who thinks this?????? Is it Denial? I can't figure it out. why do people hurt us so
  7. We are here for you :hug:

    1. Iheartcupcakes

      Iheartcupcakes

      Thank you...I need you now more than ever. 

  8. I feel this way right now and have for years. its so hard when people don't understand. sometimes i feel like i can only communicate with other people that understand. I have heard of the phrase "I am enough". When someone starts asking nosy questions or acting like you are able to do things you can't you can say "why do you ask?" or what makes you say that?. they THEY have to answer a question instead of you. it shuts people up. I have used it a lot. but yeah i feel guilt for not seeing my family. but i am running on empty and i get punished for it. its so hard. Yeah if people are rude i ge
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