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Uni

Member
  • Content Count

    16
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Uni

  • Birthday 08/27/1992

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    California
  • Interests
    hugging kitties, playing Chopin, Parisian rap, Caribbean and African francophone literature, race and gender studies, linguistics research.

Previous Fields

  • MembershipType
    Survivor

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  1. SilentBird: Thank you. It is so easy to focus on the negative, but I need to remember how hard I worked last semester in order to finish strong despite the pain. (I was conducting an independent study based on sensitive subject matter that became even more sensitive after the trauma, so that research was especially difficult. My advisor was aware of my situation, however, and provided great support) I am thankful that I took the steps to be here not only for myself, but hopefully to be able to listen to and provide support for others. That, I feel, will be part of my healing process, in addition to being supported myself by members of this community. phoenixxx: Welcome to you, as well! I appreciate your touching words and your offer to answer questions. I am thankful to be getting to know all the wonderful people here, yourself included. Struggling88: Thank you for the welcome and affirmations. I'm glad I'm here as well, even though it all seems a little surreal. I feel like I have spent so much energy keeping things inside of me ("secrets") it is a relief to reach out and feel others reaching back. MeBeMary: Thank you for pointing this out to me. I will definitely make my way to that forum and I think that it may help me quite a bit. Simply being a part of this site has already become a motivation to choose sobriety, as I only feel comfortable posting while lucid. I have noticed the amount of drinking I have been doing since the r* negatively impacting me (physically and emotionally) even though it "allows" me to cry and release emotion when I feel emotionally stunted. I am hoping that therapy will give me the tools to communicate more readily with my emotions without feeling the need to self-medicate. I have also considered that, if I discover that I cannot drink moderately or without the motive of medicating myself, I have access to local AA meetings. blondi: Thank you; I believe that I was meant to be here in this place at this time. I felt like a switch went off in my brain on Monday; all of a sudden I told myself, "Find a support group" and for the first time, I felt comfortable with that thought. I appreciate the reminder to take care of myself; through therapy, being more open with my boyfriend, and being here, I feel like I finally taking the steps to do just that.
  2. Hi to my new friends, I am 23, recently graduated (last December) from college with a double major in English and French, and unsure about my next steps in life. Struggling with the SA I experienced has left me feeling frozen and lacking autonomy and direction in my life. This sickens me as I am normally a driven individual academically and professionally. Instead, I have been slumping around my boyfriend's place and drinking too much (I am 100% sober ATM. I did not want to post while under the influence.) I would like to be known here as "Uni." This is a reference to one of my favorite sites as a child: Neopets. After the r* occurred last September, I found myself frequenting the site once again; I find healing there when I am struggling with loss of innocence. Also, back in the day, it provided a happy, safe escape from the SA I experienced as a young girl. I actually didn't think too often about or give much credit to the childhood SA until the r* occurred; then I fell apart. On Monday, I was inspired to seek out an online forum because I got into a tearful, emotionally draining and, quite frankly, frightening conversation with my sister. I realized that my intense emotions and feelings of insanity were stemming not from the subject at hand, but from the trauma that occurred last September and been with me since, like a nasty, physical weight. At that point, I realized I needed help. I found AS that same day and was desperate for my account to be approved so that I could introduce myself and begin viewing the survivor forums. Now my account has been approved for a couple of days and I've found myself putting off posting. I convinced myself that I wasn't scared to post, just shy perhaps, but I was definitely nervous. However, I knew this would be a step in the healing process - one that allows me to take back control - and as I type, I feel it. I am also meeting with a therapist tomorrow for the first time in order to have professional assistance. To close, I just want to say, "Thank you for being here." Even if you don't actually reply - or if you don't have posting privileges - it strengthens and inspires me to know that this testimony of my need for support is available for other eyes.
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