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  1. Heartbroken and sad

    Call a suicide hotline? i cant gather what you mean. Is someone threatening you? I hope you feel better soon if you are dying at work can you take some days off to recover and heal? Sitting with you
  2. A lot of times affairs are with abusive guys. Like i bet the affair guy coheresed you
  3. Well I would look into finding out if you are a empath. Which is what I am. Just very aware of other people's feelings. And can read people very well. Empaths will stay with a narcissist instead of leave. check it out: https://pairedlife.com/misc/the-narcissist-and-the-empath i would also go to the love is respect website. It shows you what is abuse, verses what is just unhealthy. If you are aware of those fine lines, you will be able to better put up boundaries. Because my abuser would regularly cross them, as well as my parents, I have a hard time telling when my boundary has been crossed. I check in with how you feel. Your feelings are a direct indicator that something need to change. even though your current husband isn't obviously abusive, it sounds like he's crossing some boundaries. You are the only one who knows what's best for your body and style and self. If he polices your appearance or tells you what to do you be HIGHLY suspect. You could also Chat with loveisrespect they are very good at telling you if your situation isn't healthy and offer support
  4. Yeah my abuser had narcissistic personality disorder. I've read that most abusers have an empathy impairment. So most have a personality disorder. I've read that narcs hijack every moment of every day. That's how my abuser was. She controlled everything about me. Triggering: what I wore, ate, stood, everything. So since I didn't have any room to find out what I like
  5. HI welcome you are safe here i stuggle with identity too. I have been trying to discover what i like and my style but it's a struggle. I have read that self care can help with discovering identity. Also, I've been taking personaity tests and looking at scent and fragrance charts to help discover myself. https://www.16personalities.com/ http://www.thehotline.org/2016/03/31/5-self-care-tips-for-abuse-and-trauma-survivors/ http://visual-therapy.com/blog/style-type-quiz/
  6. You are so delightful! I remember chatting with you for a bit and you are such a great person. Life can be really rough. I love my cat too he is my therapy cat. My parents keep pressuring me to go to lunch with my grandma, and I can't be away from my therapy animal and they get angry that I won't go. Not sure what to do. If I remember correctly you struggle from chronic pain? This video helps me when ever my pain is kicking in. But I understand it might not work for everyone, maybe check it out,
  7. I remember you and your tree kitties cute
  8. Dipping my toe...

    Trigger warning: Yeah what is up with the back pats? Tw: my uncle went to my court case. He acted like it was like attending a theater play. He said it was fascinating learning how the court works. But unfortunate circumstances in condescending way. Unfortunate?? That's an understatement. Rape is worse than murder. Sheesh. I don't know why he is acting like that
  9. Female perpetrator...

    Yeah another woman explained it's like this. A man was married to a female abuser. He couldn't devorce her because she would use the family name to ruin the company or something. So the guy became as boring as possible. She would ask him to go to lunch and he would be like meh no thanks. And pretty soon she left him because he was too boreing. Narcs need narssiistic supply. They are emotional vampires. You can't show them any emotion on your face. Stay with boring topics that aren't personal like. The weather, mundane things maybe movies. They say to even go as far as getting a boring car. Anyway. Yeah I'm ok just trucking along I guess
  10. Female perpetrator...

    Police don't solve problems they just keep the peace. My abuser is female too. Do they swear? Can you record everything they do and get a stalking order? That may not be useful either. Do you know about the gray rock method? It keeps phychos like them away. https://lovefraud.com/the-gray-rock-method-of-dealing-with-psychopaths/
  11. Very angry..

    I'm so sorry:( verbal attacks like swearing is assault. Maybe you could call the police and say they are verbally assaulting me?
  12. Hello, this is terrifying

    This is the safest place to come for this stuff. I feel safer here than at a doctor or on the phone with a hotline. I feel I have to fight really hard to be an advocate for myself everywhere else but here it's really easy to get open supportive people. You are not crazy for wondering if it's safe to talk to a hotline or doctor. There is that possibility they could re victimized something stupid. You are just trying to protect yourself. I'm not trying to discourage you to reach out either. Just this post you made today will make you that much stronger.
  13. New Here

    I relate to your name this place gives you a space to be! Welcome
  14. I would say (very casually like i didnt care) Hey remember when you used a mickey to drug me that one night? Hahhaha that was so crazy! (to try and get her to admit guilt) Oops not five words but genius
  15. Something Positive

    I stuggle with feeling safe how do you feel safe how do you know