Single Status Update
The Monster earned his GED in prison last month. Without thinking, my first reaction was positive. POSITIVE. I thought, "Oh that's wonderful! I am so prou-" When I realized the word proud was coming I stopped short. I realized it wasn't Vasquez that I was thinking of. He is gone. The sweet kid I taught and loved is gone. He is now The Monster and I was sick to my stomach. How on earth could I forget? Even for a second?? Why would my mind EVER remember who he used to be before he terrorized and tore my life to shreds?
- Show previous comments 3 more
@EmptyInside Yes....thank you. It was a moment like that...just for a split second, I remembered the person he used to be. In case you don't know my story, I will just say that I am 12 years older than him. I taught him in church school and I loved him like a nephew. He did things with my now ex-husband and I, our church was like family, etc. He grew up, went the wrong way, and then came back into my life as an adult with a sick obsession that I had no clue of. He was 21 and I was 33 when he attacked me in my home with a gun and committed several felonies. I think you are right and thank you so much...my heart just wanted it to not be true...wanted to have compassion and wanted what I have always wanted...for him to succeed and not be like his family. I am still heartbroken not only over the horrific things he did but that it was HIM.
@Capulet once again you have helped me Thank you. I will learn to see it like that instead of beating myself up as some kind of crazy person. Thank you so, so much for your words. I needed to hear them.
@Ian37 Thank you, friend. You're so right.
@Hawkgirl Yes...you're exactly right. Had he not been my monster, I would have been overjoyed and so proud of his success. I think I want desperately to be, but I can't because of what he did...I can't forget it. And I know I shouldn't. It's just so hard. Thank you so much for your kind words.