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Iheartcupcakes

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Posts posted by Iheartcupcakes

    Hello, just joined.

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    On 1/9/2021 at 6:19 AM, ForeverRecovering said:

    Hi, this is my first post on here.

    I have a lot of trauma and would like to speak with people who I can relate with who have gone through similar. I guess I want to open up about what happened to me and have people understand and listen. I'm in a place in my life right now where it doen't feel like my mental state can improve, as my username is meant to show...

    I am so sorry for what you have been through. We can relate, and here you have a community to support you. Welcome. 

    I am a bit worried because I am a 22 y/o male and most people here are female who have been assaulted by a male. Does this forum still welcome guys?

    Absolutely. Your trauma is just as valid as anyone else's. You are recognized and supported here ❤️

     

    New & confused

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    I would definitely bring it up. That is very disturbing, especially for a child. I think you have every reason to feel how you do. My T once told me that parents watching porn in front of their kids, talking about inappropriate sexual things (not like informing), etc can be considered sexual abuse. I would say this falls into that. 

    Hi

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Hola, amiga. Bienviendo a After Silence, pero lo siento mucho por las cosas que te pasaron. Tienes amigos aquí. Español no es mi idioma primera, así que perdonáme por cualquier error también. Amo el idioma y he disfrutado aprender a hablarlo. 

    holiday buddies

    in Public: Feedback Dropbox

    Posted

    On 11/15/2019 at 1:25 AM, Kasia Kesfuria said:

    Sounds intriguing...what is holiday buddies about?  I'm interested, since this is a difficult time of year for me.

    We will be having a post about it soon! Stay tuned :)

     

    On 11/15/2019 at 2:41 PM, amallison0084 said:

    @Capulet or @Iheartcupcakes would be able to explain it better. but it is great to know your not alone and that you have support through the holidays.

    You may be able to. Let us think on it. 

    Comparing Trauma, Invalidation, and a Word on #metoo

    in Public: Rules and Guidelines

    Posted

    Hello dear AS family, 

    Thankfully, the conversation around sexual violence has begun to grow and change. Movements like #metoo have been at the forefront. Because of this, we feel it is important to discuss it. 

    By all means, you are allowed to have your own feelings about the movement. We 100% support your decision to participate, abstain, support, or criticize. Like anything in life, #metoo has its own issues. We are aware that it is not perfect. We also want After Silence to be a safe place to have tough conversations. As is noted in the very name of this forum, we never want to silence anyone. We encourage free expression and discussion.

    However, we have to speak up when it comes to the point that we begin to compare, and thus invalidate, other's experiences. After Silence will be a place where we offer unconditional support, acceptance, and validation. So, it is important that we do not compare trauma in the context that one is lesser than the other. While it is perfectly normal to have thoughts about one's experiences versus your own, it is never okay to deem someone's experiences, feelings, or trauma as less than yours. 

    We choose to identify with people who are hurting. We are mostly all survivors here, and we gain support and understanding through shared experiences and feelings. These very things should unite rather than divide us. Remember that generally, we have no knowledge of the background, context, or history of any survivor. Even someone you know well may keep details and experiences private. Therefore, we need to be especially careful not to judge someone's reaction to trauma, level of suffering, or anything of that nature. For example, someone who has been raped is no more legitimate than someone who has been groped. Someone who is catcalled on the street may suffer every bit as much as someone who has been sexually assaulted.  Simply put, trauma is trauma is trauma.

    The #metoo movement began by including EVERYONE who has suffered any type of sexual trauma, from harassment to rape. While Alyssa Milano did not begin the movement, which was started by Tarana Burke, she brought it more into the spotlight with those very words. Here at AS, we hold the same perspective. Anyone who is a survivor of ANY type of trauma is welcomed and supported here. AS does not gauge anyone's trauma nor do we decide who is qualified to use #metoo. That is an individual choice that belongs to a survivor alone. 

    Survivor, you are valid. No matter what you have or have not experienced, YOU ARE VALID. Your pain, feelings, and your experiences are valid. 

    Thank you for taking the time to read this. 

    AS Moderator Team

    Noob

    in Public: Welcome!

    Posted

    Hi Deadbolts! 

    I am so sorry you were hurt. You didn't deserve it, and I wish it had never happened to you. 

    You are not alone. We are here for you. :loveas:

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