I keep having this back and fourth in my head because I haven't found anyone who genuinly understands what's happened to me.
I'm only 19 and I feel like the victum of domestic violence, i was never married, but I look at other survivors and know their pain deeply, yet feel ashamed compairing myself to them, because my pain could never be as bad as someone who was married for years.
It seems like my story isn't "violent" or "serious" enough for people to absorb what happened. The violent physical and mental pain from my whole experience is just blanketed by.....people thinking I'm over reacting.
I have people saying what happened to me wasn't even rape because I didn't "fight" him off of me, or that I didn't scream. They think because I was in a relationship with him that it doesn't count as rape.
They think because I didn't tell anyone for years, that it wasn't serious enough at the time.
I don't want to bother any of my family or friends with my pain. He would always make up stories and blow things out of proportion to get attention. It made people resent him. I don't want to become like him.