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Status Updates posted by BabyDeepBlue
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I feel a little down. It is kind of early in the year for me to feel like this. Maybe it is because the holidays are coming up. The only reason I really celebrate anything is because of my children. Other than that, it is just a different day for me. I have nothing to look forward to. My pawpaw's birthday has already passed. He passed away before Thanksgiving. My uncle has been gone for just a little over a week. My daddy's birthday is December 1st. He has been gone now for 28 years now. I lost my mommaw on Christmas day. My best friend in the whole world I lost New Years day at about 2 am. The holidays hold nothing special for me. I also wonder what my life would have been like if my daddy had not died. I know I would not have been raped or molested or if I was, my daddy would have killed them. My daddy and my best friend was my whole world. Life is truly plain and simple a bit*h.
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I just got attacked by some girl. 😢
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I am good about giving other people advice and putting a smile on their face including in this forum. I guess it is because I been through so much and don’t want to see others hurt like I have. Sometimes I wish I would listen to my own advice when life throws me up against a brick wall like today when my ex mother in law wants my life to evolve around her and control me. I get so sick of it. Sometimes I want to give up because of what all is against me, but I have to keep going for my kiddos who I do love dearly. My kiddos are the ones who keep me going besides my personal beliefs in this life.
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The more I deal with people, the more they make me sick. A person I thought was a friend really screwed me over. Then my aunt basically hung up on me because I was talking about my uncle who left my so called aunt. I was a kid when this happened and also I had my own set of problems going on because at the time I was being raped over and over on at least a weekly basis. The last thing my so called aunt said to me was that my sister and I were so and so's girlfriends. Why should I hate someone when I don't know the circumstances behind it and he was good to me like an uncle should be and a so called aunt who was a bit*h to me? My uncle is not blood. Neither was the uncle who raped me repeatedly. People really do make me sick.
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NO, I AM NOT SUICIDAL. I am just so wore out with life and its everyday problems. All life has ever handed me is a big bunch of pure crap. Nothing ever goes right. My problems make for a great gossip chain. I am so ready to just quit and give up. I am wore out with the heart breaks, failures, and everything in between. I am just plain tired. I really would not know how to act if I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth or I had an easy life or if I just had some minor problems. I don't even know why I try anymore.
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I just can’t win to save my life. Everything I have done lately has been so wrong. I just want to scream and cry!! I am so exhausted!! 😵😵