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  1. I graduate in two weeks.  It would be nice if I didn't feel so numb.

    1. snmls


      Congratulations on graduating.  That in itself is a major accomplishment 

    2. ria715


      Thanks.  I'm sorry for the negativity.

    3. Iheartcupcakes


      I understand your negativity; you don't need to apologize. I graduated less than three weeks after everything that happened to me. No matter how hard I tried to be there, enjoy the moment, and cherish my huge accomplishments, I still felt horrible. He took it from me, even though I fought to get through it. I am so sorry you are experiencing it, too. I want to congratulate you also...you are going to be a PHENOMENAL doctor!

  2. It is unsettling to realize that the past twelve years of your life have been wasted training to become a physician thanks to some narcissistic asshole.

  3. I forget what it feels like to be myself.

    1. snmls


      You're braver and stronger than you think Ria.  

      Sitting with you. 

    2. ria715


      Thank you.

  4. So this is what it feels like to officially give up...?

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. SilentBird


      Sometimes it feels like the only alternative, but it isn't. Anger works for me as a distraction. I hope you feel a little less like giving up each day and eventually look back and know you made it. You can make it...

    3. ria715


      Thanks.  It is hard realizing that he has won on so many levels (legally).  It makes me sick that he has gotten away with it for another day, and that he is probably doing this to someone else (and potentially one of his students).  Some days, I just don't know what to do with myself.

    4. SilentBird


      Get a "him" shaped punching bag and bloody your knuckles on it. That's my plan...

  5. Being soft-hearted does not make you a weak person.  It takes courage to stay delicate in a cruel world.

    Struggling so much today.

    1. MeBeMary


      Sorry you are struggling. :hug: if ok.

    2. ria715


      Thanks.  Appreciate it.

  6. Feel exceptionally paranoid.

    1. Field8


      sitting with you if you want


    2. ria715


      Thanks, appreciate it.  I have my hearing on Friday for a permanent PFA.  I am just paranoid that he may have taped all of our sexual encounters (consensual and non-consensual) and that he will use that against me in court.  I fear that because of his background on computer programming, he would be able to edit them in such a way that it appears no assault occurred (even when it has).  He is good at what he does, and I doubt he would leave a trail if he did this... I know this sounds crazy...

  7. Frustrated and anxious.

  8. Hope you're well :)

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. ria715


      Glad to hear it.  Let me know if you need anything!

    3. blondi


      Thanks. I would love to know if you get some good progress with addressing your case complaints.

      One of the ways I found  some peace coming out of my messy situation was to help other people with what I learned about investigation process, and drug facilitated assault in particular. If I can help someone get better results,  or at least find some peace and closure that means a lot to me. Be well.

    4. ria715


      Thank you :)  Sending positive thoughts your way.

  9. Welcome. Supporting you.
  10. Hiddenstars, I hope that interactions with others with similar journeys to yours can help you along the healing process. You are not alone. Ria
  11. Thank you. Just thank you.
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