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ria715

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    Female

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  • MembershipType
    Survivor
  1. I graduate in two weeks.  It would be nice if I didn't feel so numb.

    1. snmls

      snmls

      Congratulations on graduating.  That in itself is a major accomplishment 

    2. ria715

      ria715

      Thanks.  I'm sorry for the negativity.

    3. Iheartcupcakes

      Iheartcupcakes

      I understand your negativity; you don't need to apologize. I graduated less than three weeks after everything that happened to me. No matter how hard I tried to be there, enjoy the moment, and cherish my huge accomplishments, I still felt horrible. He took it from me, even though I fought to get through it. I am so sorry you are experiencing it, too. I want to congratulate you also...you are going to be a PHENOMENAL doctor!

  2. It is unsettling to realize that the past twelve years of your life have been wasted training to become a physician thanks to some narcissistic asshole.

  3. I forget what it feels like to be myself.

    1. snmls

      snmls

      You're braver and stronger than you think Ria.  

      Sitting with you. 

    2. ria715

      ria715

      Thank you.

  4. So this is what it feels like to officially give up...?

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. SilentBird

      SilentBird

      Sometimes it feels like the only alternative, but it isn't. Anger works for me as a distraction. I hope you feel a little less like giving up each day and eventually look back and know you made it. You can make it...

    3. ria715

      ria715

      Thanks.  It is hard realizing that he has won on so many levels (legally).  It makes me sick that he has gotten away with it for another day, and that he is probably doing this to someone else (and potentially one of his students).  Some days, I just don't know what to do with myself.

    4. SilentBird

      SilentBird

      Get a "him" shaped punching bag and bloody your knuckles on it. That's my plan...

  5. Being soft-hearted does not make you a weak person.  It takes courage to stay delicate in a cruel world.

    Struggling so much today.

    1. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Sorry you are struggling. :hug: if ok.

    2. ria715

      ria715

      Thanks.  Appreciate it.

  6. Feel exceptionally paranoid.

    1. Field8

      Field8

      sitting with you if you want

       

    2. ria715

      ria715

      Thanks, appreciate it.  I have my hearing on Friday for a permanent PFA.  I am just paranoid that he may have taped all of our sexual encounters (consensual and non-consensual) and that he will use that against me in court.  I fear that because of his background on computer programming, he would be able to edit them in such a way that it appears no assault occurred (even when it has).  He is good at what he does, and I doubt he would leave a trail if he did this... I know this sounds crazy...

  7. Frustrated and anxious.

  8. Hi...new and nervous...

    Welcome. With support, Ria
  9. Hope you're well :)

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. ria715

      ria715

      Glad to hear it.  Let me know if you need anything!

    3. blondi

      blondi

      Thanks. I would love to know if you get some good progress with addressing your case complaints.

      One of the ways I found  some peace coming out of my messy situation was to help other people with what I learned about investigation process, and drug facilitated assault in particular. If I can help someone get better results,  or at least find some peace and closure that means a lot to me. Be well.

    4. ria715

      ria715

      Thank you :)  Sending positive thoughts your way.

  10. Newby

    Welcome. Supporting you.
  11. New and seeking understanding

    Hiddenstars, I hope that interactions with others with similar journeys to yours can help you along the healing process. You are not alone. Ria
  12. Dear Perpetrator... *TW

    Thank you. Just thank you.
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