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mrscoon

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Everything posted by mrscoon

  1. It was a hard night...I finally told my husband details about my molestation last night and I couldn't stop crying and now my eyes are all swollen from all the crying, but I feel better that he knows now and maybe he can understand more now why I am the way I am and what I'm struggling with on a daily basis.

  2. Healing is so hard

    1. NorskyCourtney

      NorskyCourtney

      Yes, it is. It requires hard work, and creates pure exhaustion. But, you're not alone - you'll somehow wake up everyday and be able to live out that day, however it's lived out.

  3. mrscoon

    New Here

    :bubble:Hello and Welcome I am fairly new as well and Im already addicted to it
  4. Gracie, Im sorry I did not respond to this sooner I did not receive a notification that you had responded?? But Yes I completely understand what you are going through right now. I do not have a 4 year old but I do have 2 children so I guess that makes it the equivalent lol I too have been feeling anxious and irritable the last couple of weeks due to all the hormones running through my body on top of all the stuff I was diagnosed with before I was pregnant. I was in denial and thought that I had washed my hands of my past and that I could be fine without help...well I was wrong and it came back to bite me the butt. Now ive been struggling with the shame all over again and the flashbacks. I am doing a lot of research on this and that is how I came across this site and I am so happy that I did because it has been helping me so much to be able to vent and get my frustrations out...I find myself less irritable with my children after I am able to spend some time on here to unwind. I hope your having a good day and message me anytime I will always respond.
  5. I started my blog

  6. As a mother of 2 children and a wife, I find myself wanting to forget about all that happened in my childhood. I want to be the person I was before I was abused. I wish I may...I wish I might. When I think back to all that happened I can't think of any way that I could possibly trust anyone fully again. I wish I may...I wish I might. After having no contact with my father for a little over 2 years now, I realize that he will never make up for what he did and he will never say he is sorry although I wish he would and I wish that I might had been able to have a relationship with him. I wish I could forgive him...I wish I might of had him in my children's lives (WITH SUPERVISION ONLY ME AND MY HUSBAND), But as I have gone through life since not having him I realize that none of this is possible because he is toxic, he is a deleterious cloud that will forever shroud my very existence...even with counseling and therapy. He was suppose to be the one person in my life that wouldn't hurt me....the one person who was suppose to shield me from such things but instead he ended up being the very villain that people talked about on the news....a pedophile. I realize that if I want to try to heal, if I want to try and become a semblance of who I once was, if I want to protect the innocence of my children, if I want to be the wife that my husband needs...that he deserves, if I want to be the survivor: then I cant have him in my life or in the lives of my children. I cant have his poison dripping into our lives, I cant have him wrapping his dark web of despair around my heart and destroying my marriage, the security and well-being of my children, and the life that I have fought so hard to uphold. I want none of this to not be true...I don't want to be sitting here typing this but as my grandfather use to say "want in one hand and poo in the other and see which fills faster. And as I say I wish I may....I wish I might!
  7. Its so hard dealing with these emotions and thoughts...

  8. Hello and welcome. I am new here as well and know that holding it in doesn't help. We spend all our energy reserve to try and hide what happened eventually our energy reserve runs out and we are stuck dealing with the emotions anyways. We can heal and if you need someone to talk to I am here for you.
  9. Thank you everyone for the welcome. I am so happy that I found this site and I cant wait to heal I don't want to feel like a victim anymore, I want to feel like a survivor. I know I am already addicted to this place and I have only just begun lol.
  10. mrscoon

    My Battle

    Im so sorry this happened to you. None of us deserved what happened to us. It isn't your fault if you need someone to talk to im here for you. Message me and I will be your listening ear.
  11. You are not alone in this struggle. I too have feelings of loneliness and despair but I need to stay strong for my children...your daughter needs you even if you don't feel like it. Don't give up there is light at the end of this darkness. I have faith that there is and I know that we can do this we just need to keep fighting. We cant let the perpetrator have the last say in our life, we can not let them win. We come out a survivor not a victim!! I hope you start feeling better and that your days get better as well. If you need someone to talk to I am here, don't be afraid to send me a message. HUGS!!!
  12. :hi:Hello and welcome I am new as well.
  13. Welcome I am new as well, im happy to have people on the same page as me. I feel like a lot of people just don't understand me.
  14. Thank you for joining and thank you for wanting to help us find our voice. I would like to get to know you better if you don't mind!
  15. I am new as well, You give me hope with all your enthusiasm! Im glad I have people to go down my healing journey with me.
  16. Hi, I am new here as well. I hope this site helps us and we can be on the road to recovery!!
  17. Im struggling with the mental anguish and physical pain. I notice all the signs. I have a appointment with the crime victim center on Tuesday and they will help me get the help I need :)

  18. Hello I am new here and I am survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I am 22 now and married and I have 2 children (from marriage not part of the abuse) I just wanted to say thank you for allowing me to join this forum, I think this will really help me knowing that I am not alone in my struggle for freedom from the pain both physical and mental. Looking forward to making some new friends and support partners.
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