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Everything posted by aftersilence1

  1. Welcome to AS. I think that you'll find a lot of people who can relate to your story.
  2. Hi. Welcome to AS! I've found AS to be a very important part in my healing journey. I hope that you find help and support.
  3. aftersilence1

    guilty insomnia

    DBNB is absolutely right. Children need friends. It's part of life as a human being and an important developmental and emotional need for children. Your father should have been a real father who loves and protects his daughter. Instead he was a sexual predator who hurt you and other helpless little girls. That's on him. He will have to give an account for what he has done. Not you. You are totally innocent.
  4. aftersilence1

    guilty insomnia

    Insomnia sucks. Sorry you're still struggling with it. You're not alone. I'm tired this morning too and struggling.
  5. Welcome! How you find healing here.
  6. Glad that you found a r*pe crisis center near where you'll be this summer. I hope that turns out to be a place of healing for you as well.
  7. I was the secondary caregiver for my grandmother who passed away a few years ago. So, I understand some of the caregiver stress piece and how hard that is. But, I agree with Matthew, what you are doing is really on a whole other level. May you be given strength and grace in your time of need.
  8. Powerful words. I'm glad that you won't give him the satisfaction of hurting yourself any more than he's already hurt you. You deserve to live and to be happy.
  9. Hi, Jessica. I'm glad that you found this community. I'm so sorry that you have suffered so much. Your experiences are valid. You were r*ped, and you didn't deserve it. It wasn't your fault. A lot of survivors, including me, struggle with trust. It can be hard to open up, and when you do sometimes people don't understand. Depression is also common. I hope that you find support here. If you are looking for counseling resources, the Rape and Incest National Network (https://rainn.org/) has a list of r*pe crisis centers across the U.S. If you're not in the U.S., RAINN should be able to provide you with some information about international r*pe crisis resources.
  10. aftersilence1

    guilty insomnia

    I'm sorry that you are going through this, teleah. You're not responsible for the actions of your abuser. Only your abuser is responsible for that. I'm glad your daughter's okay. I'm sorry that you've been feeling low yourself, and I hope that you are able to get some help for yourself. Sounds like that would benefit both you and your daughter. Please take care of yourself.
  11. aftersilence1


    I'm glad that you've been encouraged by what you're read on the board. You are welcome here.
  12. Welcome, Dancerdna! We're glad that you are here. You are a survivor, memories or no memories. I can relate to having abuse swept under the rug and being confused about what "normal" is. When I told my Mom about my babysitter sexually abusing me she took me to a therapist who convinced my mother that "nothing happened." I repressed the memories for 5 years, and when I remembered I was still not allowed to name my experience and heal. I was very confused about what "normal" was because I had to assume that abuse was normal since no one ever did anything about it. I'm glad that you have a therapist you trust, and I hope that you find AS a safe place for your healing journey.
  13. Rose, was there any resolution about this issue. I get the same error message. I don't have a signature currently. Any time I try to add anything into my signature (even just one letter) it says that I have too many images/lines. Thanks!
  14. Thanks for reading and responding to my story. I was nervous posting it, and I appreciate your support.

    1. panda0889


      It's no problem. I think you're really brave for speaking about your story. I have a similar story so I think I know exactly how you feel. Hang in there. You do belong here. You're not alone.

    2. aftersilence1


      Thanks!😊 Hope you are having a healing day.

  15. Happy Birthday Eve Eve Eve!
  16. Thanks for the info re: Help Desk, fallen star.

    1. fallenstar


      You're very welcome! :friends2:

  17. Very Happy Birthday to you!

  18. Thanks for "hearing me" re: gaslighting abuse. It's maddening, And, I think we all need to be reminded regularly that what happened isn't our fault. I have started to write down encouraging things people say to me re: my abuse so that I can re-read it when I'm struggling. I also wrote a letter to myself in my journal reminding myself that it's not my fault. 

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