Donnybrook31

There is a reason for my silence. No one wants to know that I was abused for a decade. No one wants to know that it started when I was four. No one wants to know that I suffered at the hands of four different people. No one wants to know that it was family. No one wants to know that my mother knew. No one wants to know that I still suffer. No one wants to know that he is a convicted sex offender. No one wants to know that I lie to spare their feeling, because I know, no one wants to know. No one wants to know that I am not the only one.

Who would ever think that slowing down could propel you so quickly forward? That maybe, when you slow down, feel and connect, you would finally believe you are at the beginning of true progress? I am beginning to realize that life is profoundly simple in the most intricate way. There is a reason why I do this, say that, react the way I do. But I am still afraid and it is a fear that runs so deep within me that I am only vaguely aware of its presence and its purpose. I must protect myself. Today I had a vivid memory of my first boyfriend, Ernie. He was African American and quite possibly gay.

Why did you do it?