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Thank you Spocknado (Love your name btw) I spend a great deal of time and thought before I write. this habit has been a great strength for me. I use it to examine, dissect, devolve and discard those things that came from my first marriage. I also have a great deal of music that is empowering; survive, fight, and thrive oriented songs fill my day some I share with my children others are still too mature for them.
I'm changing my name. I survived nearly a decade as simply the spouse; I was just the Mrs now after nearly five years divorce he still throws ghosts at me. I wasn't meant to be but that doesn't matter; I woke up years ago and now as of last night I'm seeing truths I had avoided. I was going by a different name writing in high school and during the dark days now I rise. I will rise above the fear and panic. I will rise above the anger that still feels so alien to me. I am Riza Pheonix and I'm tired of darkness. I am not crazy or wrong I wrote and I sang my whole life till I gave up my voice. I