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sm28

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    6
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    Female

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  • MembershipType
    Survivor

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1,491 profile views
  1. sm28

    Alone....

    DDogs, First I want to say thanks for the hugs it was much needed and 2nd I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner and 3rd I'm sorry to hear what happened to you..I don't feel like I'm seeking attention but in a way when people say that I am i start thinking that I am you know what I mean.? When they do that I sort of just drop the conversation and my mind and body just shuts down sometimes for a few seconds, minutes, hours, weeks, months, the longest was a year..and that sucks cuz then I would lose my job if I was working which I'm not anymore haven't worked in about 3 and a half years. My cousin
  2. sm28

    Alone....

    I haven't been on here for awhile I've been kinda lost in my head....this coming up Tuesday is going to be 11 yrs since I was robbed and raped at knife point....I still think about it everyday but I feel like I shouldn't like when someone looks at me and say that I'm stupid for being stuck in the past..or when they say "it happened along time ago get over it" or they say "you're just seeking attention get over yourself"....I don't like thinking about it but really I can't help it more when my cousin is around just looking at her brings it all up again....I should feel proud of myself in a way
  3. sm28

    Nightmare....

    I don't know what to do I'm so ashamed....I share a room with my 4 yr old niece and I'm always so scared to go to sleep because i don't want to wake her up if I have a nightmare....that is what just happened I woke up to her screaming and crying my name because I was having a nightmare she said I was crying and screaming "no stop"....I feel soo stupid rite now..my little sister (my nieces mom) she knows I was rapped but doesn't know everything that has happened to me....she had my niece sleep in her room for the rest of the night and since I woke everybody else in the house up I was forced to
  4. sm28

    Living In The Past..

    Iyaaguilar after it was all said and done yes I called the police and did everything I had to do too catch the guy he is in prison rite now he is doing 310 - 470 years..as for getting help no I didn't get any because I was always turned away no matter where I went..I deal with my nightmares panic attacks anxiety attacks flash backs etc by myself..I've always had them since I was about 12 I've been threw so much from getting hit by a car at the age of 10 beat up by a stranger at the age of 19 but the thing that makes me feel really alone is the fact that sometimes I have dreams of me being 12 a
  5. sm28

    Living In The Past..

    Thank you Flodearnley I know it's not my fault but sometimes I feel like if I would of done something different then it wouldn't have happen and when I feel that way I do blame myself..but I done have alott of them day's..
  6. sm28

    Living In The Past..

    I was 18 yrs old when I was robbed at knife point and rapped i was babysitting my baby cousin at the time this all happened at my aunt's house in a way I'm kinda glade it happened there because I never had to revisit that place again does that make sense.? Anyways the worst past was that when my cousin was crying he made me lay her on my chest while he was rapping me..I had a nightmare last night and now I just feel like crawling in a hole and hide..
  7. I've never done this..I've never talked about what happened to me except once to my two best friends but they don't understand what I've been threw so I hope me joining this will help me..

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