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deval

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    Survivor

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  1. @lilacwine your definitely in the right place to seek some guidance from other survivors. Sorting out your feelings out alone is good to an extent but this sounds pretty serious and you shouldn't be alone in this. I hope there is a friend you can confide and trust in that can lend an ear and some perspective. After my incident I felt ashamed, isolated and had overwhelming emotions that I finally broke down and spoke with a friend. I had found out from our conversation she had gone through a similar situation and we ended up helping each other. You can always call the hotline number if your feeling unsafe, uncertain, and what you should do. Sending positive vibes your way
  2. deval

    New Again

    I feel for you during this time! know that you are in a good place to reach out and get some perspective. I had somewhat of a similar situation; Are you seeking therapy? If not you might want to consider some therapeutic counseling through all this. Sometimes your symptoms can feel like it has control over you but YOU DO have the control. It might just take time to develop and remind yourself of your inner strengths. In my situation my ex had physically/verbally abused me repeatedly and she bullied and threatened me at work. She was one of the reporting leaders in my old job; I did feel helpless. It was through therapy, some helpful advice I received at my domestic violence community center that helped me be proactive to go through a change. Sometimes supports are not your immediate friends but perhaps people who you don't know but understand what you are going through. My old job became a trigger for me where I had to decide what was best-my emotional sanity or this job. I decided transfer and thus far it has helped me. Sometimes you need to be the change when your surroundings are not. Healing will take time but consider that you HAVE OPTIONS. Your not alone.
  3. still cant sleep well after many years. Looking for relief 

    1. ceirsha

      ceirsha

      Not sure if any of this helps, but I have also had long-standing sleep problems.  I think I am having some luck with EMDR.  I got triggered badly in May, and was unable to sleep in my bed until late September when I started sleeping on the bed in a sleeping bag.  Got tired of that s**t.

      Complained to my T about it again, and we have worked on it the last couple of weeks.  I am under the covers now, but still in the sleeping bag.  Regular, mattress type beds have probably triggered since I was assaulted, and the last few mornings are the first time in over 40 years that I've woken up in a regular bed and thought it was comfortable.   Hopefully can move out of the sleeping bag and to between the sheets soon :)  Right now, I'm just enjoying the idea of the bed not being a repulsive or scary place. 

      I also have nightmares when I sleep on my back, and have recently begun wondering if that is related to the assault as well as often just plain having trouble sleeping at night...I tend to work or stay out until I am absolutely exhausted and there is no option but to sleep.  I'm worse about this in the summer.

    2. deval

      deval

      I appreciate your post. I was off the site for a bit but back on. I have been on and off my sleep aid and pondering if i should take my new mh med lexapro while waiting to enter into emdr. Ive been managing okay but wish to be better. I had a trigger recently. Yes I think for me it's like my triggers creep up when I'm trying to sleep. I'm waiting to get into emdr now since November. I've been waiting months for my consult to go through but I'm kind of fearful in taking a new med when wanting to go through emdr. I don't want to be clouded under meds while in the process. 

    3. ceirsha

      ceirsha

      I've been away a while as well...hope all goes well for you.

  4. Hey Dragongaurd, Its good to hear that you have positive feelings in regards to a healthy outlook both inside and out. In reading your response its a hopeful message. Take care.
  5. Jotiel, I cant imagine what is like being in the theatre but sounds like you are committed . I am pretty new to the forum and opening up in something of this nature but I can relate to being into therapy and trying new things towards healing and self improvements. Hopefully for you, this will be a good component to your goals in healing. That your journey in AS provide you guidance and clarity.
  6. Wow definitely agree with everyone here and cant commend you enough to have the courage to search for answers and support. You may see that we are all hear to listen and help regardless of age, sex, race, religion, etc. You will find the support :-) !
  7. Hello Igleh99, It never too late or too early to start the process of healing. It good that you are reaching out! Support is here with people that may understand you.
  8. Hi Everyone, I've been on the forum now for a few weeks just getting acquainted and familiarized to this. I was a little anxious to post anything about myself but just now mustered the courage to really put anything out there now that I am a little bit more comfortable. I am a mixture of feelings but hopeful this will help build on my foundation of healing. To everyone's journey that it can be healing and hopeful.
  9. deval

    Hi There

    Hey Daisy, Welcome. Glad to meet you! Hope you can find some resolution here as we are all hear to listen and help.
  10. Hi Greenfields, Welcome and it was nice to read your post; I like the way you are keeping your inner child alive by playing video games; I miss that. I hope soon to get back to that. Your post made me think about my hobbies I stopped and put away. I will get back to that. Looking forward to reading your journey in healing we are all here to help.
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