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elephantlove

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    4
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  • Gender
    Female

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  • MembershipType
    Survivor
  1. I'm struggling tonight. Sometimes I have to play through a therapy session in my head where I'm telling my story over and over again to try to find peace. Tonight is one of those nights but for some reason the memories of how I felt during that time feels hazy as if it didn't happen the way I remember it. I know that isn't right since I remember the physical aspect of it clearly and I definitely have a lot of emotional trauma. I spent so many years telling myself it's ok that I was ok with it that I'm now questioning the way I felt during that period of my life. Was I really ok with it? If so why does it make me feel so dirty and sick? Am i really a survivor? I've never felt so lost or alone in my life than I feel tonight. I'm hoping that writing about it will help me find peace for at least the night. maybe if I can write about my experiences in detail it will help me. I'll fight that battle another night
  2. Thank you all. I'm looking forward to finally dealing with this properly. I've noticed it's been a little easier just knowing I have this site. this might sound terrible and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone but I'm glad to know I'm not alone
  3. I'm sorry things have happened to bring you to this site. But from reading your post I feel we are in a similar place. I also haven't been comfortable with sharing my story with anyone I know and am nervous about even starting here. Hopefully this site is as helpful to you as I hope it will be for myself
  4. I'm really glad to have stumbled upon this website. Not really sure what to put about myself here other than I'm a second year college student. Also I havent ever shared my story before but I really hope to share it soon. I feel this is the safest place to start. And thank you to everyone that takes the time to read this. I appreciate knowing there is a support system here
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