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Poppies

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    Female

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  • MembershipType
    Survivor

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  1. Dear Smalls, What happened to you was wrong. It was not your fault, you were four years old. You didn't understand what he was asking you to do, and it's not your fault that you were afraid to say no, it's not your fault that you still loved him, even if the things he did to you made you feel bad and wrong. I'm so sorry you felt like you had to keep that secret for so long, I know you were just afraid of getting in trouble, but it wasn't you who was bad, it was him, all of it. You are a good and brave little girl, who deserves to be able to say what she needs, even though you feel ashamed or weak for having those needs. There is nothing wrong with you, you are not bad, and you are not broken. You will get through this, and you will find people who love you and support you, and who don't blame you for what happened. Please trust them, they want to look after you, and they will do an amazing job. It's okay to be scared and sad about what happened, they're normal feelings, and even though you don't like them, they're important. It will take time, but you will heal, and you will survive. You've survived so much already. Love, Me
  2. Thanks for the warm welcome everyone Mary, I appreciated your response; it's good to know there are allies here.
  3. Poppies

    Hi

    Hello, I'm new too, and understand your anxiety. The people around here seem very nice though, which will make adaptation easier.
  4. Hello, I'm Poppies, I'm 22 and new here. I'm not entirely sure where to start, save to say that I only became aware of the possibility that I am a "survivor" a few days ago, at least fifteen years after the incident I "survived". Given that, I'm not sure whether I have any entitlement to the term "victim", only that my attempts to process this new information (or old information in a new context, if you prefer) have proved extraordinarily anxiety inducing and confusing. I'm very nervous even being here, because I absolutely don't want anyone else in my family to find out about any of this. Anyway, I look forward to meeting all of you, and will at some point get around to explaining why I'm here.
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