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Jaybird13

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Status Updates posted by Jaybird13

  1. I was starting to believe maybe the abuse wasn't as bad as I thought, until I wrote some of it out for others to read. Now a lot of the pain and fear has come back. :cry:

  2. I haven't been around for a while. I'm pregnant again! (total accident and complete surprise) and have been struggling with emotions of not feeling ready for another while also being excited. :unsure:

  3. This year has been awful. I left this place as I had hoped life was getting better and now I fear it never will. :(

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Jaybird13

      Jaybird13

      Thank you free2fly, sorry you are having a rough year too. :(

    3. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      Sorry the year has been awful. Sitting with you, if ok. :hug: to you, if ok.

    4. Free2Fly
  4. I feel like I'm standing in a crowded room screaming for help and no one hears me... That, or no one cares 😞

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Whisper

      Whisper

      I know exactly how you feel. I hear you and I care. 

    3. Jaybird13

      Jaybird13

      Thank you everyone. I have wanted to lay in bed and cry all day but too many people depend on me and I never get a break... I could definitely use hugs and support right now. 

    4. Whisper

      Whisper

      :bighug: :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:  :supportu: :console: :console: :console:

  5. I can't believe my son is 5 months old already... I love him so much!

  6. I'm so confused. I don't even know what's going on in my own life anymore :unsure:

  7. Love the cold weather :P

    1. josiel
    2. Jaybird13

      Jaybird13

      I like sleeping with my window open under all my blankets... it feels amazing :throb:

  8. I feel like I'm being watched. I am so confused lately. My head is in so much pain. I just want everything to go away.

  9. I'm a horrible person :(:(:(

    1. Show previous comments  5 more
    2. Iheartcupcakes

      Iheartcupcakes

      I disagree, love. :throb:

    3. Jaybird13

      Jaybird13

      Thank you all for being so supportive.

    4. Iheartcupcakes

      Iheartcupcakes

      Always. I know we all feel wretched from time to time but like my therapist says, feelings lie. Just because you feel like you're a horrible person doesn't mean you are :throb:

  10. My little man is two months old! Time seems to be flying by. 😊 So happy he's in my life.

  11. It's amazing what honesty can do... 

  12. Nightmares, and woke up in tears this morning. Another day of running on no sleep I guess. I stupidly looked him up on Facebook, and made things worse. What is wrong with me? When will I stop doing this to myself? 

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Iheartcupcakes

      Iheartcupcakes

      You're not stupid...or broken. I have been there, too. I look up my rapist's family to see if they are posting things relevant to the case or if they are talking about me. Everyone knows who I am :/ Thank you, big mouths and media coverage...

      I have also looked up my ex-husband and his now-wife that he cheated on me with a lot and I can totally relate to how are you feeling. I have to try really hard not to do that anymore. I am so sorry you are going through this. 

    3. Jaybird13

      Jaybird13

      Thank you all for the kind words and understanding. I spent the day dwelling for the most part but am currently doing better. I feel like I've been distant to those around me lately and I'm not sure what to do about it. I hope this feeling passes as time moves forward. I want to start feeling happy again. I hope I can feel happy again.

    4. Unsettled

      Unsettled

      Jaybird, I think in time you will find that you develop a new and better respect for yourself.  I am finding that through this process I am a stronger and better person

  13. I had my beautiful baby boy May 27th and he is amazing and healthy! After a long stressful pregnancy I want to thank everyone here for the support offered and received!

     

    20160529_075122.jpg

    1. Show previous comments  4 more
    2. Rikusgrl

      Rikusgrl

      Congrats! He's perfect! Hope both of you are doing well. 

    3. loveable

      loveable

      So precious! Sorry the pregnancy was long and stressful. Congrats on your little bundle of joy! :) 

    4. Jaybird13

      Jaybird13

      Thank you everyone 😊

  14. It's my birthday today, but I'm not really feeling it. If it is anything like the rest of my year it'll end with bad news and I'll feel like less of a person once again. I'm just hoping my day is happy instead of lonely sad and frustrating.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. patriciag

      patriciag

      HI Jaybird and happy birthday !!!! :birthday:  :party2:    sorry you are not feeling it and your daughter is sick. I hope you have a better day. It is my husband birthday today to.

    3. Jaybird13

      Jaybird13

      Thank you for the birthday wishes. My day got better towards the end and I stuffed my pregnant self full of seafood before passing out early. I hope your husband had a wonderful birthday as well.

    4. patriciag

      patriciag

      thank you Jay glad it got better. His birthday was very quite, our girls didn't come in, they didn't want to get my flu bug. Our son forget I was sick so he came in, he got some ice cream cake. Now my birthday is in 2 weeks :lol:

  15. 32 weeks today, only 8 to go and not feeling prepared at all. Can't wait to hold my baby boy! :wub:

  16. Determined to have a good day! Happy Ishtar/Easter everyone!

    1. dumbNnumb26

      dumbNnumb26

      I am glad you're mature/healthy enough to be determined to have a good day :-) I am still angry from something that happened last night and is happening today to be that mature. But happy easter to you. Enjoy a chocolate bunny!!!! :-)

    2. Jaybird13

      Jaybird13

      I'm sorry numb, I hope you were able to have a good day. Ours actually turned out pretty good. Made breakfast, dyed eggs, we each got an easter basket, egg hunt, and then I made lasagna. We almost never do traditional meals for holidays except thanksgiving, because I love Turkey, and, not to brag, but I'm an awesome cook!

  17. Feeling a little better today, but overall I'm still down. I wish everything would just work out and I could enjoy the rest of my pregnancy. Only 9 weeks to go before I'm holding my baby boy.

  18. Loving the nice weather. Hoping to get outside and be happy today.

    1. patriciag

      patriciag

      :) have a good day, glad you have nice weather

    2. Jaybird13

      Jaybird13

      Thank you, it was beautiful. Now we're supposed to get rained on for a few days. :rain:

  19. Keep thinking about depressing things and can't get myself into a good state of mind. So much to do but instead I'm just laying here crying. :unsure:

  20. It's such a beautiful day out and I want to work on the nursery today but not feeling motivated. I've been so depressed I haven't even started and I'm already 28 weeks. Any ideas for motivation?

  21. Tried hurting myself yesterday, but realized I couldn't do it because I'm pregnant. I could never hurt my children. Crying doesn't help with the pain. I have no one to turn to and no support. I just want to be happy so bad.

    1. patriciag

      patriciag

      I am glad you didn't hurt yourself. Sorry you are in so much pain. Have you tried writing how you are feeling.? You have support here.

    2. rollininthedeep

      rollininthedeep

      Hi, So sorry your struggling. Please feel free to pm me anytime you need. Sitting with you if ok. 

    3. OmegaWolf

      OmegaWolf

      Jay, friend, awesome person. You can always come to me for support. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I'm very glad you did not hurt yourself. :bighug:

  22. I hate my life. I don't want to feel worthless and unwanted anymore. I may not be worth much, but I should be allowed some happiness in this world.

    1. Goewin

      Goewin

      You aren't worthless, and you do deserve happiness. Those feelings are totally understandable. Hope things take a turn for the better soon. :hug:

    2. Jaybird13

      Jaybird13

      Thank you for your kind words Goewin, my life has fallen apart at the worst time. I feel like I'll never be truly happy and it's all I want. Anytime I feel like I am happy it gets ripped away from me. I just want to lay down and cry.

    3. OmegaWolf

      OmegaWolf

      I'm sorry Jaybird. I know the feeling so well. Don't let them stop you. You've come through hell and high water to get where you are now you can get through this.

  23. 28 weeks pregnant today. Had an ultrasound and baby is doing great. Seeing my baby made me happier than I've been in a long time. I wish life were easier on me.

    1. patriciag
    2. Jaybird13

      Jaybird13

      Thank you! It was :)

    3. patriciag

      patriciag

      when I was pregnant there was no ultrasounds, when I got to see my granddaughter the first time through ultrasound there are no words to tell you the feeling but you know the feeling AMAZING!!!!

  24. 25 weeks pregnant today and I've already started nesting. Love feeling him kick :wub:

  25. Making homemade Valentine's with my daughter and watching the magic school bus. Feeling great at the moment :)

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