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Everything posted by Ardatha

  1. Invision is in the process of switching servers so that could be why the problems. Our forum is on Invision's servers and was down last night through this morning for the move. Hopefully they are all done with that now and functioning fully.
  2. Have you downloaded and installed the latest version of java? They just came out with a new one. Also what operating system are you using? I've found Windoze Vista does not like java. Had to switch to Firefox for chatting. Luck!
  3. Yes, unfortunately, the view count is very misleading. Every time that topic is looked at, it's considered a 'view.' If you go back to check replies your 'view' is counted too. If someone else reads then doesn't reply but maybe goes back to check for others' replies, that's more views. Add to that anyone who has replied going back to check the replies and it mounts quickly. And some people get more from reading our posts and have nothing to reply with. If we could look at it the way Todlyn does, maybe it would be better for us. Not everyone who reads a post has the time or might not be
  4. Generally when you change your avatar but still see the old one, just click on the refresh button. IE stores these things on your computer as cookes, true, but you don't need to remove them to fix the problem. (I have many cookies with logon information on my computer and clearing the cookies gets rid of all the information.) Also, if you know someone has changed their avatar but you're still seeing the old one, click on the refresh button and you should then see the new one. That will swap out the avatar photo in the cookie file... much like updating. Meg :outahere:
  5. When you are typing a post online, typically the server or website will record that as no activity. If you've set your browser to disconnect after a certain amount of time of inactivity, it will consider posts that take longer to finish as inactivity. Also, it could be a setting your server has. Or even the forum software. I know if I am typing a post on our forum, which is also Invision, and go too long it will treat it as if I've been idle the whole time. I hope you find out what the problem is. Gentle cyberhugs.
  6. You might need to set your browser to accept cookies. That's how the "remember me" works.
  7. Hun, we are all products of our environments, shaped by the people we've encountered and interacted with so there really is no true relationship between just 2 people. No disrespect intended at all, honestly, but it's been my experience that the more scientific degrees a person has, the less clue they have about people's hearts. People are not experiments to be solved with logic. We are the product of our environments and there are no two alike because our experiences are filtered through our minds, tempered by our unique personalities, for lack of a better word. Remember what I said a
  8. Might possible trigger so be safe when you read it. Hopefully it won't but just in case... A few suggestions for you have come to mind. It's quite common for survivors of SA to feel dirty, shamed, damaged, broken, and worthless, which is why it's so difficult for them to speak about what happened. They're afraid that in the eyes of others they'll seem to be nothing more than trash. Frequently, they will even blame themselves and feel guilty. All of these negative inner thoughts make it just that much harder to talk about to anyone, but especially someone we love. That's the last perso
  9. Down the railroad tracks from where we lived was an apple orchard with the best apples in the world on those trees. We would usually saunter down there for an apple snack several times a week, and the owner didn't seem to mind as there were a lot of trees and only a few of us. And we were never greedy. Then one afternoon, sitting in the apple trees, enjoying an apple we realized there was an addition to the orchard. His bull. Oops. I guess he got tired of us filching the apples after all! LOL We sat there a good long time waiting for that bull to leave. And that was probably our last
  10. How weird is that, at the time these memories came from we were living very close to the Bradwell Nuclear Power Station, we used to ride the ponies down by there .. BTW ... I haven't seen any glowing lights yet Meg so I think you may have got away with it .. Oh, how funny is that? We couldn't get horses across the fence but the bare ground made for some great softball! LOL I have a music one, too, today. It's more recent but it's a song that never fails to put a smile on my face and get my toes to tapping. It's by Garth Brooks and it's called "It's Midnight, Cinderella" Everything abo
  11. hahahahahahahahahaha!!! Are you sure it wasn't all the kids in the neighborhood that contributed??? LOL Speaking of fun places to play... for many years my grandparents lived near Humboldt Bay Nuclear Power Plant. We kids would sneak over their fence to play in this really neat bare field where virtually nothing ever grew. The power company guards would run us out every time the found us in there. Many years later I learned that was the dumping grounds for the nuclear waste. No wonder not much grew there. I suppose I should go check in the mirror to see if I'm glowing in the dark ye
  12. ROFL Ihavemadeit!!! You reminded me of the horse poo fights we used to have! You start out with the really dry ones that don't have much smell left to them anymore and as feelings become angrier you start looking for the ploppier ones! Hmmm... and they say country kids can't have any fun! LOL (laughing hysterically) We got really creative with horse poo as we were growing up!!! Meg :outahere:
  13. ((((Mami)))) Welcome to AS, dear one. I hope you find solace and safe haven here, as so many have in the past. Meg :outahere:
  14. LOL My first love was horses, too! In fact I think my earliest memory is of being on my aunt's horse. I know I was less than a year and a half old because that's when we moved to Alaska. This would have been before then as my aunt lived in California, where I was born and lived the first year and a half of my life. I was sitting in the saddle, with my father beside the horse, holding onto me in case I should fall. I was both thrilled and terrified. Although I was terrified of being up so high, I was delighted to be sitting on a horse. Evidently, I have truly loved them "all of my life
  15. When I was about 10 years old, my father went to the store with my grandparents, leaving my mother and me with my brothers. We were listening to the phonograph, which was a 'portable' one in those days, and much bigger than a boombox. It was sitting on the floor in front of where I was sitting on the couch. I heard a tapping on the window and looked out to see a Frankenstein face staring through the window at me. I screamed, jumped over the phonograph and headed down the hall, right behind my mother who had been galvanized to action by my scream. For some reason both of us were heading fo
  16. (((Ihavemadeit))) I grew up on the coast of northern California and your memory brought to mind all the many days spent on the beach and the various activities we enjoyed there. Roaring bonfires where we roasted hot dogs and had lovely picnics with friends and family, riding horseback and atv's along the surf, days spent running with my dog, and the many times I took my children to the beach. It was a fishing community so times spent down on the docks watching the fishing boats go out and come in, also came to mind. Thanks for sharing that one. It definitely brought back wonderful memorie
  17. (((Catherine))) Your story about Christmas reminded me of this one. It's a little long and at first seems rather sad but the ending is wonderful, so bear with me please. When I was 9 years old we lived in Texarkana, Arkansas for a while. My father had trouble finding work so Christmas that year was going to be really poor. My parents talked to me about it and I was okay with that. The only thing I wanted that year for Christmas anyway was a pair of plastic pretend high heels. They were a shiny pink and gorgeous. My little heart lusted after them with everything I had. Every time we
  18. Not to mention the noise of the explosion. How exciting and thrilling that must have been for you! My father drove heavy equipment, road building machinery and so forth. (Again, safety laws were not what they are now) As a kid he used to take me with him on some of the big earth moving equipment. The ride was always bouncy and bumpy, and the noise from the machines was incredible. No wonder he was always partially deaf by the end of the season. (They didn't work in the winter.) To a kid, sitting on that huge piece of equipment was awesome, believe me! It was always so cool when I co
  19. This is a lovely thread, both for sharing memories and for reading. It puts a smile on my face when I read what has been written so far. In fact I like it so much I have to contribute too! When I was a teenager we lived in a small town in the northern Calfornia coastal mountain range. It was my mother, my brother about 12 years old, and my stepfather Roy. Somewhere Roy had gotten hold of one of those old American Flyer wagons, the big one. Behind the house was this great trail leading to the woods. It was a lazy, sunny, warm afternoon and for some reason, a bunch of my friends, my bro
  20. (((Ann))) The only dumb questions are the ones that go unasked. Cookies, computer wise are bits of information this computer stores on your computer, usually for identification but can also be used to track your progress around the internet. The ones this program uses are harmless and simply remember your information each time you 'log on.' That's what the "remember me on this computer" button does when you click on it. That's why you don't always have to go throug log on if you have clicked that option. When you delete all cookies, you're taking all the information off your computer p
  21. Haullie, don't feel bad because it had me confused too. Lindy, that's a great idea! Now if the "make a donation" button could be deemphasized a bit or something so people would see the link first or at the same time... oh well, we'll take what we can get, eh? Meg :outahere:
  22. Oops, nevermind. I think you're better off doing it through the store. Provincia means county or state, but the only choices look Italian. Paese is country but there's no choice for the USA. I took a bit of Spanish a million years ago and was able to read most of the page but my vocabulary is soooo rusty that I'm not sure I read it right. Maybe someone speaks fluent Italian and can translate for us? Meg :outahere:
  23. (((Kayte))) Welcome to AS. This is a great place for survivors to find support, understanding, and companionship. I'm sorry you need to be here but hope you find what you're looking for. Safe, gentle, warm supportive cyberhugs to you, dear one. Talk about adding a whole new meaning to the phrase "With friends like that who needs enemies?" doesn't it? Well, you had no clue when you confided in him, I'm sure. How were you to know? It's not like he wore a sign or had it tattoed prominantly on his person. Try not to feel too badly about that one, sweetie. Can't blame you for that re
  24. It takes a stronger person to know when they need help and seek it out than it does to simply ignore it until it hopefully goes away. Strength of character is often confused with physical strength and it does not matter how physically strong a person is if their strength of character is lacking. To know oneself and understand that seeking support is not exposing weakness. To stand up for one's beliefs and do the right thing requires an enormous amoung of courage and strength. To face down the odds, regardless of what others may think, say, or do... that is to show great strength and enormo
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