Jump to content
Due to recent upgrades, After Silence will no longer work on Internet Explorer. Please use Chrome, Edge, Firefox or Safari. ×
New registrants - please do NOT register using your real name (or anything resembling such) - your privacy is important to us and real-name registrations will be deleted. Please re-register with an anonymous display name. ×


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by ToLiveAgain

  1. When I feel moved by a post in a direction that is not positive, I close the post and come back to it later. If it still moves me in the same negative direction, I formulate a response in a word document, save it and close it and come back to it later. I then reread the original post and my response in word. If my response comes out "right" without any harm being done to anyone, I post it. If not, I edit it or just delete it and decide not to respond after all, as my response might actually be more harmful than the original post.

    I know this takes a tremendous amount of effort, but too often in this virtual world where inflection and body image is lacking, a hasty response does nothing but incite more anger and invite more negative responses.

    I guess it comes down to... how are you making others feel by what you are posting?

    My favorite quote of all time really sums it all up for me:

    "People will forget what you say and what you do, but people will never forget how you made them feel." ~Maya Angelou~

  2. Ok, I have to be honest here... I really didn't miss you, because I was still "seeing" you every day over on TEF.....

    BUT I DID MISS SEEING YOUR UGLY MUG OVER HERE! (Your TEF Avatar is just your fantasy pic of yourself, we know the real you is MRs. Oreo herself...)

    Hehehe... all joking aside, I'm super glad you are back to receive support :)

  3. Nicole I absolutely LOVE this thread!

    One thing I've started doing on a very conscious level, and on a consistent basis is visualizing my hand reaching up, palm outward in the "STOP" sign kind of way, in response to ANY negative thoughts I have about myself (more often than not they are body image related, but sometimes just "stupid" or "lazy" etc).

    As soon as I have halted the thought (and the visualization makes for a dramatic halt), I reverse the negative message in my head to something positive, typically the opposite of what I just thought.

    For example, if I walk past a window or mirror and see my reflection, and the thought pops into my head that I am a slug and really need to do something about my weight, I visualize the "STOP" sign hand, then I tell myself over and over, "I am thin and lithe and every day I achieve greater and greater health." (Ok, so I'm not really thin and lithe, but my subconscious mind only knows what I tell it... and the more I believe it to be true the more my mind will make it become a reality.)

    I also find that showering, putting on makeup, and wearing a smile, even when I don't feel like smiling is often enough to get me over the hump.

    I love this thread and am going to work on finding something new every day to add!

    Awesome idea, Nicole!

  4. Racheal your are sooooo right on! Glad you brought this to our attention!

    We need a smiley that says "mods are people too" (hehhe.. ok maybe we don't, but at least you get it, right? ok... )

    Anyway... I have recently come to get to know more mods much better and I honestly have to say they are some of the kindest, most sincere people I know. It makes me ache to think of any of them suffering, especially since I do think we often (wrongly) put them on pedastals that do not allow them the priviledge of venting their feelings as freely as the rest of us.

    Yay mods! Keep on rockin' on!

    YOU ARE LOVED!!!! :wub:

  5. Hi Donna... thanks for responding... but I still think there is a problem with the forum home page showing members. I was waiting all evening for a friend to go into chat. I refreshed the home page about once an hour. Finally, about 4 hours later I went into chat to see if anyone had seen or heard from her, and she was there! And had been there much of the time! And no, she was not logged on as anonymous.

    Do you think it's a problem with the server or with our individual computers?

  6. When i sign on to AS i can never see all of who is on or even in chat even if i refresh the page if there are like 15 people on sometimes it says like 9 or 6 or whatever i was just wondering if this happens with everyone or is my computer just messed up or what it could be ?????

    That's been happening to me, too, lately.

  7. I missed your hello, too, and I apologize. But no one here is more grateful than me that you found AS! As PitterPat said, you are already a huge asset here and I am proud to know you and call you friend! :wub:

  8. Nothing anyone has ever said to me (and like you all, there have been plenty of stupid remarks) can compare to what the perpetrator said as he was zipping up his pants and casually walking away.... "Don't worry, I've been tested for AIDS."

    The only one that even comes close to that was from a therapist I had been seeing for 2 years who said to me, "You must be enjoying playing the victim, because you're choosing not to move past this."

  • Create New...