sweetfeather5
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Hey all. It's been a while. I'm sure there are some people who remember me and some who don't. Maybe some will remember I was investigating health problems. I wanted to give a small update concerning that. I likely have cancer, will be going to hospital for some investigative procedures in a couple of days. It was rushed because it's "urgent" apparently. I'm terrified, but also pissed off as my doc's concern about the assault seems to mean it likely is the cause of these health problems. It's not fair that something that happened a decade ago is now causing my health problems today. If there was some way I could bill them, I would.
Hope you are all doing well. Sorry I haven't been on much, been a little distracted. -
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The specialist said it's not an immune disorder after all. So now I'm stressed because I'm so lost. I feel like it is and because I've been trying to manage it, it looks like something ordinary. This saga never ends.......
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@MeBeMary Thank you!
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My dad just informed me that he might be hospitalised over christmas because of pain. Plus his cancer has shot up from a 4 to a 12. I'm still very dependent on him so this is very stress inducing to me. As much as he and I don't get along, I hope he can stay alive until I can get back on my feet
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@mini.finch Thanks mini. You've been so great at replying to people on here recently, I've noticed. I hope everything is going well for you? Thanks for being so thoughtful.
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I'm seeing the specialist tomorrow. So stressed about what they'll say. I want a diagnosis but at the same time am scared to hear it.
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@Doll6 and @mini.finch Thank you both! This has been so stressful for me so I really appreciate the thoughts.
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Am feeling a little overwhelmed with health stuff. Just spoke to a specialist on the phone to book a consult and what she told me made me think they'll refer me back to a doctor. I feel like I'm being ping-ponged around. It's frustrating but also scary.
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@sweetfeather5, it's stupid that they do that it's why the health care is so rubbish unless you pay them but even then some of them drag things on just to get more money, sorry your going through this.
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@Free2Fly I don't know if this is a case of them wanting more money. They honestly have seemed baffled. The doctors here don't want the responsibility of accidentally misdiagnosing you, so they send you to specialists. The first one I saw thought it was an easy fix, but the treatment plan wasn't working so she was stumped and just kept telling me to come back and see her. That, plus a couple of the things she said, made me distrust her abilities, so I went and saw another. That one was fresh out of uni and diagnosed the same as the first. Frustrated, I went and saw another one and that one finally took me seriously and determined it was beyond her ability to fix so I have to see an even more specialist for a consult. This has taken YEARS! And I still don't know what's wrong!
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@sweetfeather5, true there has been a lot of that too, it is worrying how doctors can still not know what possible issues could be mind you I've seen many doctors misdiagnosis things and it's rather silly that they don't seem to consider every possibility, hope you can get answers.
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Today has been a weird day. All my colleagues have said how weird today has felt. And if you were to ask us why we felt it was weird, we'd shrug. It still feels weird....
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@Field8 Thank you!
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Feeling down because I didn't get the job. The interview seemed to go well so I don't know what happened.... I tried not to get my hopes up, but...
. I'm in such a hopeless situation
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@sweetfeather5 - please don't beat yourself up - I am sure you were an excellent candidate for the job and although this opportunity didn't work out, there will be plenty of others - look at it this way, if it will help, friend - but perhaps there's something even better coming your way and this just wasn't meant to be. Try to be gentle and patient with yourself (I know, easier said than done!) and don't give up hope.
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Sitting with you, sweetfeather.
I'm sorry that you didn't get the job, but as Cap said, please don't beat yourself up over it. There will be many more jobs out there that you can apply to. And they might be way better! You did awesome, just the fact that you applied and had an interview. I'm proud of you. 
Take it easy.
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Hey, I am so sorry for you. I get the feeling since I was looking for a new at the end of last year and didn't get it at first. But then the next two interviews were good and I had choice between two jobs. You'll get a job you like! A friend back then said to me: Maybe this wasn't supposed to be "the" job and the right job will become available soon!
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Conflicted feelings about potentially predatory experiences
sweetfeather5 replied to Maksim's topic in Public: Welcome!
Hi @Maksim Welcome to AS! This forum is full of people who have experienced a variety of things, so I think you will fit in more than you realise. I think you are lucky to have experienced something you feel hasn't given you trauma, but I'm sorry you had to experience something at all that has made you look back on it with suspicion. Hopefully you'll be able to find what you need here that will help you better define those experiences. -
Welcome back!
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It's so hard to move upwards when the world seems designed to keep people down
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No progress is demoralising
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It's raining. I like rainy nights because the staccato helps to bring the world back in and suppress the dark thoughts, unlike a silent night.
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Feeling scared about a bleak future and longing for human connection.
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We are here for you, @sweetfeather5. Please know that you are not alone. Mary is right - you deserve wonderful things and genuine connections...do not give up on your search. These are things more easily found than a lot of the other things we may be looking for. You need only ask.
Sitting with you, as well.
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What Did You Do For You Today?
sweetfeather5 replied to SnowDragon24's topic in Public: Pretty Good Year
Sleep is always good though! Ilove to burrow under the covers.I splurged on a really nice dress just for a social meet up this weekend. My bank decided to not work today so a really good friend of mine who still has about half of my money paid for it for me. And the nice assistant gave me a discount even though I didn't have a magazine. Plus, I didn't spend the whole day struggling to choose an outfit! -
It may make him crazy, but I know it will make him suffer too: You can never have me Though I wonder if I can say it with the confidence it needs. Otherwise: Listen again arsehole: Go away!
