Thanks everyone. I'm sure I'll find the support that I need here. When I'm able I'll share my entire story but not quite ready to yet. As I've said, I've never spoken of it and still have to find the courage to do it. I've never been to a therapist because I don't really trust them. Trust, or lack of, is my biggest issue that I am trying to work out.
I don't really talk about this, so this is pretty hard for me. I'm 36 years old and have pretty well dealt with everything but sometimes just want to talk to someone. I was molested when I was about 8 years old by a neighbor, a female teenager. Started slowly then escalated over a couple of years. I've always known what happened and have firm memories of the time but never told anyone. And to this day I never plan on telling anyone in my family - I don't want them to feel any guilt.
The older I get the more I realize that there are some issues that I haven't worked out and I think (hope)