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About Ausi

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    Surviving with God

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    catholic faith (traditional!), politics, sports - expecially athletics & strengh training, ,martial arts, writing poems, being out in the environemt, reading,

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  1. emotions

    Memories, ... empty eyes above me, emotions cruhing against each other memories, trousers, Jeans fighting... not fighting... want be free - want away faster, want her not to do - want her come to an end faster, memories guilt, Anger, agression against my assaultant, bothered by her, "dissociating selfesteem" mixed with breaking all mixed like a want to pass and go, want not ... want hold controll - eyes drift away ... she is mentally inside me my core. like in spiderweb... no breath no air... Paralyzing frozen, starts from legs can feel not move Switch off
  2. difficult to concentrate, but have to go to Sport, but thinking and thinking at the Moment. :blush:

  3. Welcome on AS @jgb92660
  4. Hi Lilles&Roses, welcome at AS. A light for you Wish you strengh, Ausi
  5. Hi @Ash9 , I understand what you mean. But if I am allowed to encourage you, I think: If it is SERIOUS FOR YOU it IS SERIOUS AT ALL and for REAL FRIENDS AND EVEN MORE FOR FAMILYMEMEMBERS etc. it should be SERIOUS TOO. If they are UNABLE TO UNDERSTAND YOU, that is NOT YOUR FAULT. Wish you much strengh, Ausi
  6. Thank you @Iheartcupcakes .
  7. @Iheartcupcakes Hm. Must be terrible to know the truth and seeing the liars comming away, and despite of that being again and again a danger. I belive you. Such an injustice is not easy to take. My problem was that some people did not belive the my story and how it could happen to me. But it could happen, it did happen. During it happened I did not want to belive it myself but have too and I know what happened and what it felt like. Ok it was in my youth not today. But it´s still hurting and ashaming.
  8. @Iheartcupcakes That is my fear too. And the other is that people could make jokes about that. Bad experience: One time I was at a consultant. And I think she doesn´t really belive me. I don´t know but I had that feeling a little bit. I don´t want to do her wrong. But since that time I never went to a face to face consulation again.
  9. Hi, Mandy, welcome. Great you found back to A.S. Greetings, Ausi
  10. Warm and friendly welcome from me too, lilacwine.
  11. Hi, sweetpea26. Warm welcome from me to you here in the forum. Greetings, Ausi
  12. Hi Heidi, oh dear. I am sorry that you experienced so much violence. That really sounds hard. Welcome here. I hope you find support here. Greetings, Ausi