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About Ausi

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    Surviving with God

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    catholic faith (traditional!), politics, sports - expecially athletics & strengh training, ,martial arts, writing poems, being out in the environemt, reading,

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  1. Hi PurpleDaisy13, Welcome on AS. You are not alone. Greetings from Ausi,
  2. emotions

    “Little Alice fell d o w n the hole, bumped her head and bruised her soul” ― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
  3. emotions

    Flashbacks - They come stronger if you resist and it´s as strong when you submit. Similar experience as it was in the actual situation. What can you do do? It´s a very difficult question I think cuz everybody maybe experiences theese flashback in a different way. I don´t know a generally solution. Even when I have falshbacks it is very sheldom, I get myself clamed down until the flashback is over it´s self. My struggle with theese things is the reason why it is very difficult for me to tell Alice something to stop falling. When theese flashes come I can´t even stop my own fall through to much rabbit holes very often. I tried grounding techniques and theese things. They are not bad but in my experience it was much to late when I felt the flash coming. Mostly the memories make me think and think and think and... are they true? Are they wrong? Are they mixed - half true and half wrong? St. Dymphna, St. Maria Goretti, St. Agnes, St. Philomena, St. Mater Maria Immaculata, orate pro nobis! Pray for us and all survivors for healing. Amen
  4. Hi Alimanu, I can imagine how nervous you are. I just remember the first time I wrote in forum like this. But it´s really helpful. Here are many nice and gentle people who understand.
  5. emotions

    !!!EXTREM TRIGGERWARNING!!! During an sexual assault or a rape some victims may experience like changing into another personality. This maybe is a kind of dissociation. It can go together with tonic immobilty, a feeling of suffocation and a strange feeling of “resignated serenity”. Theese are experiences victims of rape and sexual assault maybe have before the prepetrator finally breaks the last border and violates the personality core of her/his vicitim. ————————————————————————————————- Suggestions for recovery to STOP ALICE FALLING: This feeling of being another person can be very confusing. Expecially during the time of aftermath, there can be questions like: Why did I “slip” into the other personality and why just into the personality of the person I “slipped” into? - This question might be even more confusing if you “jumped”, that means you did not only “slipped” into one other personality but into two or more several personalities. This might be even harder if the personality/personalities you “slip” into are good friends or relative for example, your best friend, your mother, your sister, a teacher and so on. Maybe you might feel guilty because you put theese persons in context with sexual violence and the situation you had to experience. Maybe you feel guilty too because the “resignated serenty” I talked about, felt like a strange kind of “selfesteem”. Maybe you feel guilty for “feeling raped” even if it for example was “only” an assault in a juridical way and no rape or complete rape, because there was no penetration, and others blame you for overreacting or similar stuff like that. Keep on reading - !!!You ARE NOT GUILTY FOR NOTHING!!!
  6. emotions

    Damaged in Selfesteem and personality?Damaged in Selfesteem and personality? Many victims of sexual violence, might suffer with a damaged selfesteem and a hurt personality for a long long time. Reasons may be the humilitation during the rape/abuse/assault as much as several forms of victim blaming, that happen again and again. Suggestions to STOP ALICE FALLING: Try to become sure that everything that happened is over. And what ever happened and what ever anyone said: NO ONE HAD THE RIGHT TO DO THAT TO YOU!! You have a right to live your life. To live it sucessful and happy!
  7. difficult to concentrate, but have to go to Sport, but thinking and thinking at the Moment. :blush:

  8. Welcome on AS @jgb92660
  9. Hi Lilles&Roses, welcome at AS. A light for you Wish you strengh, Ausi
  10. Hi @Ash9 , I understand what you mean. But if I am allowed to encourage you, I think: If it is SERIOUS FOR YOU it IS SERIOUS AT ALL and for REAL FRIENDS AND EVEN MORE FOR FAMILYMEMEMBERS etc. it should be SERIOUS TOO. If they are UNABLE TO UNDERSTAND YOU, that is NOT YOUR FAULT. Wish you much strengh, Ausi
  11. Thank you @Iheartcupcakes .
  12. @Iheartcupcakes Hm. Must be terrible to know the truth and seeing the liars comming away, and despite of that being again and again a danger. I belive you. Such an injustice is not easy to take. My problem was that some people did not belive the my story and how it could happen to me. But it could happen, it did happen. During it happened I did not want to belive it myself but have too and I know what happened and what it felt like. Ok it was in my youth not today. But it´s still hurting and ashaming.
  13. @Iheartcupcakes That is my fear too. And the other is that people could make jokes about that. Bad experience: One time I was at a consultant. And I think she doesn´t really belive me. I don´t know but I had that feeling a little bit. I don´t want to do her wrong. But since that time I never went to a face to face consulation again.