Sometimes I Sleep in Public: Welcome! Posted June 15, 2014 Thank you all so much for the kind words of support. I am deeply touched by them. I, too, am afraid of taking sleeping pills, not so much for fear of being stuck in the nightmares, but for fear that I won't wake up if something happens, like a break-in. I sleep very lightly, and at times have tried to sleep with ear plugs to prevent waking every five minutes, but I have ripped them out in my sleep on more than one occasion and thrown them, scratching myself a time or two in the process. People tell me those fears are irrational, and I can see how, to someone with a different live circumstance and perspective, my fears ad reactions would seem wholly nonsensical. Sometimes I want to shake my own self and tell myself to get a grip. But... I lived those things. I am this way because of those things. My fears are rational, in some sense, because those horrors that I am frightened will occur did, in fact, occur. Am I alone in that? I spend so much time going back and forth with myself; I fight myself so hard to just try to be "normal" and happy and stop seeing monsters in every shadow, and then in the next breath I'm rationalizing my fears. I spend even more time wondering how much of this actually makes me certifiably nuts.