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Or from my cousin (again, she truly was a great support) when she wanted me to go out with him again because she wanted to go out with his best friend... It's not like he hurt you or anything.... Really I wonder why I cry myself to sleep every night then? Truly people are stupid and often times self centered if your pain gets in their way then they try and minimize it or make it not real... I am sorry for the things that were said to you and of course they were not true and were not right. Sara

They truly must be crazy...or able to completely disregard what they have done. THe same man written about above after actually thanked me.... thank G-d for small things huh?

And Hi back to you. Welcome, feel free to jump in where and when you comfortable. Sara

Welcome. It is great that you have a boyfriend who is understanding and is there for you....kudos to him, a lot of men just dont get it. Kudos to you for working up to talking to him and to being here.... Sara

Despite what the media and perps will tell you few women lie about being sexually abused, there is no glamour in it and it is not fun. The effects you have described are perfectly normal, there are many who do not remember either aspects or the whole (other than a general sense). The things that you are telling your therapist are probably things that are triggered or that you are ready to remember, but you then forget either because you are not ready to remember or because you never were you just blurted it out without really knowing you had. I knew as did the man I was with that I had been s

Sounds like a swell guy can't imagine why you tried to keep away from him It must be in the male gene: After one of the experiences I was standing outside (waiting to go home) he came out and I was shivering uncontrollably. He asked are you cold or did I do that? gee I wonder then about two months later he takes me out to coffee (my mother told me to go cause he kept asking her as I kept telling him no) and he said he could not understand the wall I had put between us when we had been such good friends, I should try to trust a little more because I was ruining it for everyone (his best fri

KM, Serious about the coffee let me know when you will be up this way. I read your post and I have to say I think they must have dumped radioactive material into your town and you were the only smart enough to bring an umbrella, how can so many stupid (and insensitive people live in one place?) Truthfully I thnk that one girl was just jealous and was why she was so mean and testified against you (but the second part of me says who cares if you had been giving him a bl** job earlier in the week, that doesn't make what happened later any less rape...). Anyway I hope that you have gottten smart

Answers.... lack of marks does not equal lack of rape...it's a matter of consent A girl (or person) can not LET themselves be raped (that would be consent therefore no rape) wearing? who the heck cares? (or my fave you tell the person you were wearing their little black mini skirt) Where? as long as you were not in a sex for free zone again does not matter For them to be freaks that understood the word no You are not ruining his life, he did. just as with his family he was the only one who got to make a choice. okay I hope at least one made you smile... Love Sara

The problem is.....any action taken after the word no is used should be pretty simple... I think sometimes friends can be the worst they love us but that doesnt make them understand. love, Sara

KM, Nice to know we have such a figher in our corner, you ever make it to Seattle the coffee is on me... You know I spent years trying to figure out what she meant (I would have to guess she meant sex) I did not have a boyfriend..didn't want one I am according to my counselor the last remaining prude. I always have been so I don't know where she would think that I was in on this, I think it was her way of excusing her boyfriend or more likely sick as it seems a way to forgive me for what happened. thank you for the reply and the hugs (back at ya). WhiteWolf, KM is right, he just needs to

Melody, Welcome; I, like you and pure rain have much that I do not remember, and too much that I do. I am in school, I am the mother of two children and I work and sometimes it beceoms too much everything stops, My Presidents list not happening (not for a while anyway). The effects can be long lasting and worse reoccuring I think the art is in learning how to deal with both aspects while attempting to keep the life that you have worked for. Having people around who know and understand is often the step up that people need. Welcome again, Sara

In your mind it may be in a tidy little box but if as you say it has imacted your life in so many ways it really hasn't been, It has been a poison in a tidy box slowly seeping out over the years. It is best to get rid of it and the best way for many is disclosure, to talk to someone to let it out. It can hurt you a lot less when you begin to let it go then when you continue to let it fester inside. The symptoms you are going through now are normal for many abuse survivors, they happen to a lot of us, therapy or a doctor can help with these symptoms and counseing can help with the cause, and y

My personal favorite (or least favorite as the case may be...) I have two When My best friends boyfriend raped me and I told her she said she wouldn't blame me I was probably just curious about those things (could have killed her) After my husband rapes me and I was stupid enough to compare him to the gentleman written about above, my husband replied then I must choose men like them because I enjoy being raped. Have to admit wouldn't have thought of that one

THANKS, Sara

Katherine, Thank you for wrtiting me... I have been to AA and I understand how veery powerful a support group can be but even tehre I did not fit in not because I was an alcoholic because I am but because while some of the others were crying and talking about their lives I could emphathise, I could support and assist, hug and love them I can't speak like they did. I would say what I had to to help myself but there is a wall I just can;t get beyond and that is where all those emotions are...just dont have them for me. I do believe that I can of assistnace here and maybe that in itself would h