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Everything posted by Muruluisku

  1. Hi Emily, I'm new here too, but everyone seem really friendly Welcome! <3: Muru
  2. Hello everyone, I'm new here but seeing how bravely everyone here shares their experiences, thoughts and feelings makes me want to give it a go and see if it helps... It's sad that most of you also know what it's like having floods of bad memories and stuggling with them. Although I wouldn't wish it for anyone it's kind of nice to know Im not alone and you guys understand. I've got mixed feelings about the little girl that got hurt. Some days I'm okay hearing her and I can be pretty childish some days.. I guess it's her getting the attention then. Other days I don't like her at all and feel frustrated with myself and my stupid head for remembering and getting distracted. I struggle to concentrate so I'm not very productive at work, I'm jumpy and on edge a lot, freaking out when people around me drink alcohol or get loud. And some of my ways to cope with things aren't that healthy. I like to listen to music, play my accordion and soak in the bath to relax.. Although when I don't feel safe I tend to keep busy doing chores or exercise so that I'm good and give no reason for any more baddies to hurt me. I should know that I'm safe now cause I am, but when I get worried or stressed it doesn't feel safe to relax. It's a bit of a vicious cycle I'm really struggling with nightmares. After I've had a nightmare I'm too scared to go to sleep, then the next evening I'm worried about going to sleep and then end up having another nightmare... Then I start avoiding sleeping and the cycle only breaks once I've completely exhausted myself and fall asleep without even trying, or get physically sick and run down and have to stay in bed for a while. Hoping it'll get easier when I get to talk to you... <3: Muru
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