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Everything posted by FindingClosure

  1. I was able to control my flashbacks and fears by being logical by keep telling myself that I am safe, fear is not real. But, sometimes it just gets so overwhelming and I tend to break down and about to get that dark place I do not want to be at. I am still fighting hard. I keep telling myself that I am in control and not my perpetrator. I think of it as every second I give in to flashbacks, triggers, and fears, I am making my perpetrator happy and having him have control of my life. That gives me motivation to fight back and take control. I will keep fighting back, but today is definitel
  2. I have some old habit I am not proud of mentioning. I have developed it about at the same time as flashbacks and triggers started (Flashbacks and Triggers started earlier but this is when I started be aware of them.) to happen in my late teens. This old habit happens to be a trigger as well, so it really makes me not want to do it but sometimes I can't stop doing it because I am addicted to it. I have been very good about it, but I fell off the wagon again. I will keep battling this by using logic and monitoring my behavior on this particular problem. Okay, it's porn. I am so ashamed to
  3. I have been fighting hard. It seems the more I fight back, it comes back at me stronger. It is a struggle to regain myself in how to process my fears and telling myself to come back to the reality. The reality is that I know who I am and my fears stemming from my triggers, flashbacks, nightmares are all in my head. They are just in my head and imprisoning me. Fear is not real. It is not something you can touch or smell. Therefore it does not exist. What does not exist can not hurt me. I am in control. I will not give up and I will fight back harder. I know who I am. I am strong.
  4. Dear Skyfeather, I am glad that I was able to provide you with the way to cope with what you are going through. It is a journey where you can fall right back down so easily, but you have to keep moving forward. That is how I feel. I do have many triggers I do not know where they arise from. I sit down and think about things logical and ask myself why. I know how frustrating it is when you don't know certain things trigger you to be certain way. What I am going through is based on what happened to me and what happened to me aftermath. I am glad that you are able to get the help you nee
  5. I am feeling much better today. Thanks to this website, I was able to let things out and read helpful responds from my post. A lot of things I have already have known in process of healing, but now I feel like I can really practice them in my life. My problem is very much fear driven like others. I knew this before, but I truthfully realized now that fear is not real. What is not real can not hurt me. I will not live and controlled by fear. I think if I can control my fear, then my triggers may be controlled as well. According to the self-help book I read, being logical really helps in h
  6. Sometimes we just have to find the good in bad to live in this world.

  7. A lot of times, I feel like I am so close to being finally free. Then, the fear sets in again.

  8. I have read a lot of self healing materials and they really help me in understanding what my problems are. I know what I am dealing with and I know what to do, but it is so hard to follow with them. Things I most struggle with are flashbacks and triggers. They are getting worse as I get older. I guess because I have suppressed it for so long and so deep inside of me that I guess my mind finally has nowhere to keep everything in. I am wondering what kind of day I am going to have today. I am having panic attacks everyday from flashbacks and triggers around me. I usually manage and push th
  9. I am so glad that I have found this forum. I am new here as well and I find myself hard to navigate on this website. I should have gotten some kind of help long ago and I finally decieded to join this website. It was kind of frigthening and relieving at the same time. Once I logged in the site, I was confused and some what upset. It is nice to meet all the new members like myself. I hope to reach out to everyone of you in times of need and I hope to receive the support in times of my need.
  10. Reading a lot of people's blogs or forums actually making things worse for me. Does anyone have suggestion in utilizing this website to benefit myself so that I can get better?

    1. Samii


      I do not read any person story because is to difficult for me. Most part forum will not have so much detail. Only pay attention close when person is say TW or Trigger Warning. Chat room can be good help when you are have 10 post. Male section is help if you are want talk with other man. But there is not lot active man member.

    2. FindingClosure


      What can we do to make the male members more active?

  11. I want to let everything out and share everything, but it is so hard to do that. Many years of worrying about what people whold might think of me if I do share, that mind set is still engraved in my mind.

  12. For many year I hid behind what happened to me and lost control of my life. This is my first step in coming out of hiding and regaining the control of my life. I am ready to move forward and reay to heal from it. I know this journey is not going to be easy but I feel that I am finally ready.

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