BeautifullyBroken

I told my parents about my csa in August and they have not mentioned it since.. and over Christmas, they recieved a Christmas card from my abusers family.. they put it up..I found it.. I cannot fathom why they would do such a thing.. also, when I got into university (in September) they were saying things like "things will be all right now" and as if everything would be 'just right' when I go.. as if it turns out that I am having a very good time, and I try not to think of what happened.. but yes.. the silence can be confusing/annoying/variety of things I guess sometimes people just don't

Oh my Goodness...I've just remembered I've had that 'that's a horrible thing to say' comment too. It is infuriating! Why are people so stupid?!! 'What do you want me to do about it?' I've had that too. Ugh.. oh and last weekend, after being sexually assaulted (again) my friend said "Well it's expected at clubs"... she was drunk at the time but still.

From a friend: "What EXACTLY happened?" (As if the details are that important...) "I can't believe it" (Gee, thanks...) "That's the worst thing anyones ever told me" (Just make me feel even worse) "So that's why you're screwed up...it makes sense now" (Well I'm glad you think it all 'makes sense') "Do you still think about it then?" (No, idiot, I can simply click my heels together and forget everything) My dad: "What happened? What exactly happened? Did he {insert something sexual here}?" (Why does it matter so much..the fact is that it happened, why are the details so important?)

I just hate how I feel. I have held it all together for years but now it is as though I am falling apart piece by piece...I have this terrible feeling that one of these days I won't be able to stop screaming. I just want to get away from everything.

Hello, I've just joined too. I am really sorry for what you are going through...I know how much it hurts. I too am meant to be going to university soon, but I can't even think about that right now. I feel as though I want to be cocooned somewhere, away from everything. I wish I could say something to help you and make everything better. I wish someone could do the same for me. I just keep hoping that one day, we will all heal...

Thanks...it is nice to know people care and want to help =) I have thought about therapy...and when I told my parents, my dad suggested it. But therapy goes against what I have been trying to maintain for many years: 'I can deal with it by myself'. Its very important to me to be strong, but I can feel it fading. I don't know how to even go about therapy. Also I forgot to mention something. My dad was sexually abused when he was a child too. I guess it doesn't make it easier for him to help me though...

Hello, I'm Helen and I'm 18. I came here because it helps to know that I am not alone, and I was hoping that I could get advice from people who have been through a similar situation. I was sexually abused from when I was 8-10, by a family friend. Not a friend of my parents, but a friend of my cousins and Aunt. I have been abused emotionally and physically too (not by the same person), but the memories of the sexual abuse came flooding back to me last October. Since then, I have been trying very hard to hold myself together and get on with life as usual; do my exams, etc. However, the past f