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alone85

Member
  • Content Count

    19
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About alone85

  • Birthday April 25

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female

Previous Fields

  • MembershipType
    Survivor
  1. Feeling really lost and down today I thought speaking out standing up to evil would sone how free me.....I was wrong ive never felt so alone and down. Beginning to think this was all a mistake ........
  2. alone85

    Chat?

    Hi I had a look but couldn't see a thread so im going to ask on here. Is anyone else having problems gettin into chat? Every time I click to go in it brings up an error message??
  3. im lost without you my angel my grandmother

  4. what to do what to do what to freaking dooooo

  5. I feel so stupid I shouldnt of fought I should of known better I just dont know what to do.
  6. I can't believe it I stuck with my grandma and I thought he had left went to make lunch and he was there. I tried to fight honestly I did but with a punch I knew he wasnt messing around so I stopped fighting gave in let him do what he wanted then when he had finished he said see I knew that you enjoyed it not much of a fight this time maybe next time you wont fight at all.
  7. I dont know if I can type the hell of a day ive had im torn between writing it down and just keeping it inside. Guilty is one word id put. But the question is was it rape if I just stopped fighting?
  8. So here goes I dont know why im here I dont mean here as in this site but here still living! I was beaten black and blue by the very person who was supposed to be myprotector my father my earliest memory is him Hitting me for something I had done at the time I didnt know what it was he was hitting me with but I knew it hurt I would later find out it was a belt with a 4 inch metal buckle that he would heat up. This was my childhood my sister was never touched so I must of been a bad kid. I hate him but love him at the same time I mean hes my father and I must of deserved it he beat me so bad one time I was in icu for 6 weeks I was 7 years old sometimes I wish it had killed me to save me the pain of the years to follow but my dad said something that has stuck with me and maybe hes right he told me after I came out of icu that "even god doesnt want me or he would of took me when he had his chance" WHY AM I STILL HERE?? 3 suicide attempts and yet im here still to suffer ALONE. theres no help out there for people like me I just wanted to share a few things and that's it thank you for those of you who have took the time to read this. This is all I can say as I dont think I can post anything else. Im just sad all the time I have no idea what to do im at the end and I cant see the light at the end of a very long tunnel.
  9. my mind is over run with thousands of memories that o cant get rid of.

  10. Hi im new to this site and dont know what to do or say? I guess I can just put why im here. I was abused by the man who was supposed to protect me for harm not the one to cause it. My father if I can call him that. My uncle sexual abused me from the age of 4 to 9 I never told my father as I was told he wouldn't believe me and I would get a beating for lying I believed it as I got beat for less. I never really got over my childhood and it showed into my teen years when I was 15 I sexual assaulted would of been rape if a woman hadn't heard me scream.I was told that talking to other victims may help me so I thought id give it a try.
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