Hello, i am thinking about reaching out for help to someone from my church. Just to tell someone and see what I should do. But I am terrified. I am not sure that I can do it. Tell anyone. I am terrified. I'm thinking about cancelling. I reached out for some support groups. But they were eithe ron days that I couldnt make or I had to make an appointment with a counselor. I wasnt (I am not) ready for anyone else to put an ID to what happened. I dont want the puty stares or worse, the judgment stares. But if I dont deal with it, reach out for help i will carry this forever. The pain, fear, dullness has become a comfort. It protects me. With those I will never be in a relationship where this can happen again. Besides the above concerns, getting help could take those away. Making me vulnerable. I dont want that. I think I just talked myself out of the appointment. I am cancelling. Please help. Please pray.