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Field8

Section Moderator
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Status Replies posted by Field8

  1. Pocket riders please?

    Today is my first physical therapy appointment since covid hit. I'm off the charts nervous to be at the hospital. But I need this evaluation. I'm weak and shakey and exhausted. But at least the physical therapist will see me as I am not just at my best. I'm immune compromised, and nervous as hell, so I just called the lady at the info desk at the hospital. She said that as soon as she got off the phone with me she was going to go wipe down the wheelchairs that are near the front desk. Didn't make me feel like an idiot for being so nervous. So thank you awesome info desk attendant! So so much.

    I'm so anxious about this whole thing I have a stomachache. Normally I'm a people person, so this level of anxiety feels crazy to me. I feel like I'm losing my mind or I'm germaphobic (I'm not) or agoraphobic (I'm not) or something.

    RR

    1. Field8

      Field8

      Pocket riding with hand sanitizer that smells like flowers 🌺.

    2. (See 6 other replies to this status update)

  2. Struggling hard. So sorry. I may continue to be scarce until after this weekend when the 5th anniversary is. Love you all so much. Truly. 

  3. I'm officially back! Sending out loads of hugs :hug:

  4. We miss you Wishes :candle:

  5. Please pocket ride with me - its going to be a difficult morning :( and I could use AS members support 🧡 B

    1. Field8

      Field8

      Reporting for duty. I hope all goes well.

    2. (See 16 other replies to this status update)

  6. Feeling so alone...

  7. Today is the first anniversary of my father's death.  We had a difficult relationship at times, but he was a good person, and helped me become the person I am today. He was a firm believer in justice, the value of our shared humanity, and kindness --especially to children and animals. I miss him, and the world he believed in and tried to bring about.

  8. In case anyone is wondering where I am im somewhere amungst all of these books.     📗 📓  📚  📖 📑 📘 📚 📖    📚 📕📗 📓  📚  📖 📑   📘 📚 📖   :insane:  📚  📖 📑   📘 📚 📖   📕 📚 📕

  9. After all this time, just now starting to feel anger... not sure what to do with that.

    1. Field8

      Field8

      It is one of the scariest emotions I have ever felt. Sitting with you if okay.

    2. (See 3 other replies to this status update)

  10. Feeling a little lonely tonight. 

  11. All right.  I need a hug.  Or two.  Or two hundred...

  12. Nothing is helping. I felt a bit better after writing yesterday and posting it here, but I am still in a pit. I am at work trying to avoid everyone so that I don't take it out on them. I left my anxiety meds at home...but what good would they do anyway? I feel more depressed than anxious. I wish I was home with my dogs. But even then, I am still suffering. I have no idea what to do. 

    1. Field8

      Field8

      I’m sorry my friend. Sitting with you.

    2. (See 9 other replies to this status update)

  13. Grateful to be with a safe and caring partner now, celebrating 6 years since our wedding day.  🙂

  14. Talked with old friends today. They are moving on with their lives... dating, getting married, having kids, etc. Meanwhile, I have wasted the past several years of my young life trying to recover from a mental breakdown and effects of trauma. I’m not  sociable anymore. This is not where I thought I’d be in life right now. I feel like such a failure... I’m feeling so much self-hatred and shame. 😢😞

    1. Field8

      Field8

      You are not a failure.....you are a survivor. Sitting with you if okay.

    2. (See 6 other replies to this status update)

  15. today has been agony

  16. Well, I'm still having pain a week later, so I have to go back to the dentist tomorrow.... plus they have to re-do the impressions which I find overwhelmingly triggering.  Not looking forward to it at all.

  17. Well, I'm still having pain a week later, so I have to go back to the dentist tomorrow.... plus they have to re-do the impressions which I find overwhelmingly triggering.  Not looking forward to it at all.

    1. Field8

      Field8

      I'm so sorry that you are going through all that. Sending healing vibes and sitting with you.

    2. (See 9 other replies to this status update)

  18. Dentist appointment today, very triggered. Been struggling to be in  my body ever since. I am ok, and safe, but out of sorts. And very sore. 

    1. Field8

      Field8

      I hope that you start to feel better. Sitting with you passing the ice for your jaw/teeth

    2. (See 3 other replies to this status update)

  19. Heavy hearted 💔 :tear: Memorial service on Zoom for my 2nd dad ended about an hour ago. Still feeling the pain...

  20. Leaving this here, because, really, who can't smile at this????

    Have a great weekend, everyone. ❤️ 

    IMG_1165.jpeg

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