Rachael

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About Rachael

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  • Gender
    Female

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  • MembershipType
    Survivor
  1. in my situation if I had not reported it then he was going to continue raping me, and I feared for my life. I felt I had no alternative. But it took 2 years for a conviction and there was alot of intimidation from his family and friends, making a complaint and the bail hearings, deposition hearings, giving evidence, the sentencing was all so gruelling and then the parole hearings which were very difficult. Even when there is a conviction, victims are never treated the way they should be by the court system. I am not trying to scare you, I just want you to be aware of the process. But because I reported him, I have not been raped by him since. The scars will never go away but I am still alive..... living in the aftermath, sometimes I regret reporting and think death would have been preferable but other times I don't. I am hoping that as time goes on I will feel better and better about having reported it. hope that helps.
  2. you are not alone here , the statistics are overwhelming to me too. I am so sorry that you had to go thru such hell and I am sorry that you are haunted by what happened. I hope your counsellor will help you in the way you want help and I hope there are survivor groups in your area, maybe your counsellor would know about that. take care
  3. my rapist said: "I didn't mean to rape her" (He did it over and over again and he tries to make it sound like it was some kind of accident! unbelievable!) Also: I can't remember the exact words but basically having his lawyer saying to me that it didn't happen. (That is such invalidation and I hate it so so much, that lawyer must know it happened, how could they not, I hate those scum bags so much, how can they sleep at night?
  4. lol glad I could help and welcome
  5. Welcome to AS, There's plenty of support here. I'm studying too and when I find it hard to deal with all the stress of life I know that I can come to AS and talk about whats bothering me. I hope you'll feel the same
  6. Welcome to AS this is a very supportive place. take care of yourself and welcome
  7. welcome to AS. I hope you get lots of support from here and in the real world too, take care
  8. Hi I just wanted to say Welcome.... you've had a really difficult time and still having a difficult time, I could relate to some of the feelings you have......I don't know weather you should keep trying to find him or not..... I don't know when all this will stop ruling your life...........I just hope the support you get here will help you to heal because you are important and I hope you will get some peace in your life. Take care.
  9. hi Rhea, I just wanted to say I think you're doing the right thing not having anything to do with parents....and I don't really get why they keep saying "your acting like a victim" as if you shouldn't be considering you have been victimised. and just to add the way you're acting being upset and angry about being violated and confronting your abuser and removing yourself from their negative influence is actually showing real strength. and I applaud you for that. Take care
  10. hey nat, i think all of us wish we could just imagine that it didn't happen...well as you know it just doesn't work that way and you're friend is just talking from complete ignorance... and i totally agree with you that you were raped by someone who felt you were an "easy mark"... I think alot of rapists rape when they think they can get away with it....they target ppl and they groom others and it seems they have no thought to the fact that they are hurting another person whether its emotionally and/or physically... youre not alone here...take care of yourself nat.....everyone here gives a damn i guess because unfortunately we can all relate in some way
  11. nat ....your friend was TOTALLY incensitive.....of course it counts as rape.....if someone is asleep and unable to resist or if they're druged and cant resist it also counts as rape, it doesn't matter if pain is involved. i also remembered a few comments....hope its ok for me to say.... my witness, didn't want to give evidence and said to the cop "I banged my head and I've forgotten what happened" then he went on to say that he had told the cop blah blah blah that he doesn't want to testify..... and the cop said "I thought you said you couldn't remember anything" (ha, in the end he did give evidence, i think the cop told him to stop thinking bout himself.) the same witness also said "well at least you know if hes that desparate (to rape me) then he cant be fu*king around."
  12. welcome
  13. hi welcome to AS
  14. Hi and welcome to AS brains are such complex things, people can imagine things that didn't happen and they can block things out that did. You may never know the truth about your past and I think its admirable that you're being honest about the fact that you aren't certain. I wish you well on your journey and I agree as long as AS is helpful for you then thats the main thing.
  15. hi, welcome