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lexip

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Status Replies posted by lexip

  1. Aniexty has been my enemy this week!! :( 

    1. lexip

      lexip

      Thank you both still up and down with this

    2. (See 2 other replies to this status update)

  2. Thursday and Friday (the anniversary dates) are bearing down on me. My beloved little foster dog was adopted Sunday and although I have another, it always breaks my heart to let one go. I also got some news about my dad. He has terminal pancreatic cancer that spread to his lungs, which is the main issue. He has survived way longer than predicted, but now his lungs are giving out on him. He can barely breathe. Even with treatments, he says he feels like someone is standing on his chest. Work is overwhelming, holiday travel is too, and so much more. I am just feeling overwhelmed and EXHAUSTED. My body just flat wants to give up. I have no energy and I yawn all day and fight sleep. I just want to go to bed but I can't. I have deadlines to meet and no one else to do the work. Praying that the weekend comes soon and brings relief. Saturday I am going to the local shelter to take pictures of the dogs there for adoption to post and hopefully get them exposure so they will find homes. I know I will enjoy that. Thanksgiving week will be good, I hope. For the first time, the anniversaries are not near it, since Thanksgiving is later this year. I hope that means I can move on and feel better. 

    1. lexip

      lexip

      That is a lot to deal with, but your so strong,  I know you will get through it (((AMY)))

    2. (See 11 other replies to this status update)

  3. Browsing the forums I saw the board for sexual assault by a stranger. I had a sickening realization. I feel like I've been victimized by both at once. During the crimes, he was a masked armed man who forced his way into my home. It was terrifying. Then, he was revealed as someone I know and USED to care for. The knife cut deeper, and I didn't think that was possible. I have always thought since it turned out that I know him, I have never experienced stranger rape. But that's not actually true. Wow. This is a bit much to take in....

    1. lexip

      lexip

      @Iheartcupcakes it really is and thank you hope ur doing ok ❤️

    2. (See 3 other replies to this status update)

  4. Browsing the forums I saw the board for sexual assault by a stranger. I had a sickening realization. I feel like I've been victimized by both at once. During the crimes, he was a masked armed man who forced his way into my home. It was terrifying. Then, he was revealed as someone I know and USED to care for. The knife cut deeper, and I didn't think that was possible. I have always thought since it turned out that I know him, I have never experienced stranger rape. But that's not actually true. Wow. This is a bit much to take in....

    1. lexip

      lexip

      same, I felt like this, the cab driver was a complete stranger but after the r I remembered that we had once met talked once, and that I remembered him from that time, I had engaged talked he even flirted with me and I didn't mind, to go from that to doing what he did, and remembering that I did in fact engage/talk with him made me feel sick … it was the same also with the second r, I don't know what to class either one of them has, but I didn't know them so strangers right??

    2. (See 3 other replies to this status update)

  5. Making my father's cremation and burial at sea plans the last couple of days has been beyond hard. I wanted to help and asked to take this burden from my aunt. My father and other family lives in California and I am in Texas. I can't do much and I hate it. This aunt is his caregiver because of that. It was worse than I thought it would be. I have just been nauseated and sad. I know it's not SA-related although my father was abusive in every other way in my childhood. But I have tried to have a relationship in latter years and I do love him. It's bleeding into everything else. I feel like 36 is too young to lose a parent...and it hurts so much. 

  6. Woke up from a really horrible nightmare - just as I thought my sleeping issues were behind me :(

    1. lexip

      lexip

      thanks - last night wasn't the best sleep, but no nightmares!

    2. (See 2 other replies to this status update)

  7. I’m sorry for being MIA lately. With the anniversary dates, falling on thanksgiving day no less, and the appeal possibly expiring or moving forward at the same time, I haven’t been much good to anyone, even myself. I just want you all to know how special you are to me and that I’m comitted and grateful for AS. 

    1. lexip

      lexip

      You have so much going on take care of yourself right now ❤️

    2. (See 6 other replies to this status update)

  8. I have felt very depressed and tired today, worst day that I have had in a while.

    1. lexip

      lexip

      Thanks feeling a little better today been very up and down lately 

    2. (See 3 other replies to this status update)

  9. Too much pain. Too much sadness. Too much heartbreak. Too much everything. 

  10. I have felt very depressed and tired today, worst day that I have had in a while.

  11. Work training, longish work hours and trying to complete TWO assignments by next Thursday is leaving me pretty exhausted … Well to adult life hey!?!  

    1. lexip

      lexip

      I spent two hours on my assignment then lost all the work!!! Definitely time for sleep 😫😭

    2. (See 4 other replies to this status update)

  12. Work training, longish work hours and trying to complete TWO assignments by next Thursday is leaving me pretty exhausted … Well to adult life hey!?!  

    1. lexip

      lexip

      Yeah its tough, im trying to take it a day at a time, I must admit my house work it pretty hit and miss right now!!

    2. (See 4 other replies to this status update)

  13. I could sleep for a week!! - can I sleep for a week??

    1. lexip

      lexip

      Iv been taking naps it’s been giving me some relief 

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  14. Never have I cried at work before this week- yesterday was the first time and today it happened a further two times 

    1. lexip

      lexip

      Thanks it really is but it was such a tough week I appreciate your support 

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  15. So hard to get out of bed the past few days. All I want to do is sleep and cuddle with my dogs. That's it. I don't want to work; I don't have the brain power. I don't want to talk to people; they can't make me better. Sleep does...unless I have more nightmares. Just feeling so very drained...

    1. lexip

      lexip

      seriously did I write this?? I hear you, healing is so hard I have been having a rough just getting through the day it was a relief today to actually be "sick" because I knew I had a legit reason to stay home all day and sleep! that sounds SO messed up doesn't it, here for you,  hang in there amy!

    2. (See 9 other replies to this status update)

  16. With the onset of fall, my PTSD symptoms are worsening. I am just sad. I guess I am remembering more often. I have noticed more nightmares and irrational dreams. Just trying to carry on even though I am depressed and exhausted. 

    1. lexip

      lexip

      I feel the fall is contributing to my latest ptsd flare up too as well as constantly being near the centre of town for work hang in there I no this time of year is not easy for u

    2. (See 5 other replies to this status update)

  17. I hate aniexty really struggling this week 

    1. lexip

      lexip

      Thank you, I decided to sleep today my mood is that low, during which I had an horrid nightmare about the cab driver! Im seriously struggling

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  18. I’m feeling quite low and exhausted tonight

    1. lexip

      lexip

      Things are a little better I have just been battling flashbacks and nightmares on and off again this past few weeks

    2. (See 2 other replies to this status update)

  19. Flashbacks keeping me awake so tired 

    1. lexip

      lexip

      thank you both its been a tough few days

    2. (See 2 other replies to this status update)

  20. Feeling very depressed this week haven’t been able to get out of bed today 

  21. After a positive and productive few weeks I’m feeling depression setting in again 

    1. lexip

      lexip

      Sorry you’re struggling too supporting you 

    2. (See 1 other reply to this status update)

  22. would love to stop crying this just isn’t me 

  23. Emdr has wiped me out 

    1. lexip

      lexip

      Really rough bouts of crying and needing lots of sleep 

    2. (See 3 other replies to this status update)

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