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  1. Hi Min, Firstly - congratulations on coming here and opening up about your past. Very brave of you . Secondly - it is not your fault and was never your fault. It is one person's and one person's alone: his. It was HIS responsibility not to abuse anyone, and he failed in that responsibility. You mustn't blame yourself; many people are too scared to talk about what happened to them and it must be terrifying to come out about it, worrying whether or not you'd be believed, wondering whether or not you'd provoke a response from your abuser. This was his fault, not yours. You and the other person are victims. You are survivors. I hope you find this board to be a safe and comforting place to talk about your issues, past and present. It's a long road to recovery, but it's worth every step. All the best with it. Also - maybe start a blog? I started one just recently and it's been really helpful in my efforts to get all my thoughts down on paper/on the screen. Best wishes, Ollie
  2. Thank you all. In sb1944's defence, he identifies himself as being male and that line of "although women obviously have had much more horrible experiences" may just be what he has been conditioned to think. Many men are made to feel like their suffering can't compare to the suffering that women go through as survivors - and this is one of the unique issues that male survivors often face. I'm glad that so many of you have (quite rightly) said that it's bad for men and women, and that neither gender has it better or worse because of their gender. I think the challenges that either/all genders face are subtly different, but there's a lot of overlap. I'm glad that so many of you are being supportive of each other and me. But let's not be too hasty to judge sb1944's comments.
  3. Thank you all - and thank you Equalitee for your kind words . Sb1944 I think there's a section of this website and this forum that's aimed at male survivors . But you're right in your implication, there's not much out there which is gender-specific to males. Luckily I'd say that maybe 80% - 90% of the survival stuff that applies to women (which seems to be by far the most frequently-occurring demographic in survivor groups) also applies to any survivor in general. But as I've mentioned in my blog, the challenges that male survivors, female survivors and transgender survivors face are all slightly different and gender-specific help would be useful, I think. That's one of the reasons I started my blog. Men seem that much more reluctant to speak out about abuse they've suffered. I'm not afraid to speak out, albeit anonymously, and I hope I can help other people - regardless of their gender identity, in doing so.
  4. Hi Elle, I really admire your strength and the courage you've shown in coming forward and talking about what you went through. I wish you all the best in your road to recovery . -Ollie
  5. Hi everyone, I'm so glad a forum like this exists where people can share their stories and help each other on their road to recovery. I thought, as a male survivor of childhood sexual abuse, it might be helpful for me (and others) to write a blog about it - there seems to be a remarkably small number of men talking out about their experiences on the internet as a whole. I started a blog yesterday and didn't expect to write much in it, but I wrote eight articles in the first day alone and it's really helped to exorcise some of the old demons, as it were. My name's Oliver [or at least, that's the name I use in the blog - it's actually my middle name], I'm 30 and I'm British. Here's my blog, for those who are interested. Start at the bottom, as usual - http://ithinkimreadytowin.tumblr.com/ Warning, of course: it may be triggering, so please be careful. Best wishes, Oliver
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