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Blog Entries posted by Seekingfaith
Made me smile to make him smile
The struggle continues today with phases of hungry t not hungry and very sleepy to not sleepy.... nothing on TV no good music no friends to chat with.. Can things get any worse than they currently are ?? I just need a break from all of this stress a break from depression cause IRS driving me crazy.......... When does it get easier when does the pain stop when do the voices shut up... that's the worse part the voices that tell me I'm no God that I deserve to suffer. I can't make them shut up I just want them to shut up.... I want to be normal again.......
Last month was tough I felt like I was falling apart every day was something new. Depression really got to me I felt like I was struggling to even get out of the bed most days.. a lot of days I didn't, my life seems to be coming apart and I have no way to stop it. Some times I come on here and even that doesn't help sometimes it makes it worse I feel ignored here and when I don't I feel like I'm playing the victim which I try not to. Some days I just really need someone to talk to and for someone to listen to what's going on in my head. 34 days and still continuing of this current struggle. I know I'm stronger than this but I can't keep pretending I'm OK when I'm not I can't keep smiling when I just want to run away and never look back.... I can't take back my power and I feel I have lose all control again..... this is my story welcome to my train wreck of a life.
Hi I'm seekingfaith I'm starting this blog so I can write everyday as a form of coping. I guess I should start with why I'm actually here. I'm a survivor like most people here and I wanted to start sharing more of my story with everyone my day to day life with depression and the struggles.... Right now depression is the worse I think I hate the good days more then the bad. Because the good days I don't understand why I'm so happy. I'm hoping to be able to learn how to cope with writing everyday and being more open with how I feel .... thank you to all in advance who read my blog :-) Seek answers seek power seek faith