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atherton

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Status Updates posted by atherton

  1. atherton

    need someone to sit with me, having a hard time.

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Anonymous4

      Anonymous4

      Sitting with you too

    3. Field8

      Field8

      Sitting with you 

    4. abhaya

      abhaya

      sitting with you, sending kindness and support.

  2. atherton

    He died and I feel nothing except relief that he won't ever hurt another little girl.

    1. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      I am sorry he had a chance to hurt you. Big :hug:.

  3. atherton

    Hurts so bad tonight. 

     

    1. AKB

      AKB

      Sitting with you and hoping it gets better.  :console:

    2. atherton

      atherton

      Thanks

    3. atherton

      atherton

      hey anyone know how much a person can take before they actually snap. I think I might have, I just don't care about anything anymore. I think my heart has finally broken big time. sorry think i should go to bed and sleep this off.

  4. atherton

    Losing the battle of holding it together. The bandaids aren't keeping my heart together anymore. need someone to sit here with me.

    1. Show previous comments  10 more
    2. atherton

      atherton

      I am glad to hear that it helped you. sorry I didn't get back to you sooner just not having a good time right now. way too much going on. I have been seeing my therapist more lately and I just don't think he gets it, How can he, he wasn't/isn't there.

    3. Hoping8

      Hoping8

      i don’t think any one can “get it” but I’m glad to hear from you and glad that you’re still communicating.

    4. atherton

      atherton

      Thanks for listening. It is so hard sometime. 

  5. atherton

    Not sure what is going on inside me. Had my doctors appointment, thought I was feeling o.k. and suggested maybe it was time to go off of the anti depressants, he thought it wasn't the right time. Had my therapy session and told him feeling fine and he didn't seem to believe me either. Perhaps they know me better, maybe I am fooling myself. Maybe I am pushing the feelings down again. Feeling like a failure. I have worked so hard to get better. Really I do feel o.k. he is dying and won't hurt anymore girls. I have been working very hard so that when my family does try to get in contact with me after he is gone, I will be able to say no, you killed me off for him, no I will not be there for you. Maybe they are looking out for me and know that I will need the drugs and the therapy to deal with my family. But really I feel strong. Sorry just don't get why they think they know me better than I know myself.

    sorry I am lying they know me better, I am lying to myself if I believe what I wrote. when do I get better? when do I not need therapy and drugs? when do I stop hurting?

  6. atherton

    Feeling alone. bad night. need someone to sit with me tonight.

    1. limbodante

      limbodante

      *sits with and shares cookies*

    2. atherton

      atherton

      thanks limbodante. and the cookies are great.

    3. Free2Fly

      Free2Fly

      *sits and asks if he can have a cookie?*

  7. atherton

    having a very hard time tonight. it is so hard going by my mothers house, knowing my sister and nephews are there and yet I am not allowed there as I am dead to her. hurting really bad, want to stop my car outside go to the door and see her. yet I can't, she hurt my children and I can't hurt them by seeing her. I wish I didn't care so much. I just want the pain to go away.

    1. MeBeMary

      MeBeMary

      I'm sorry for the pain and sadness you are feeling. :hug: if ok.

    2. atherton

      atherton

      thanks MeBeMary

  8. atherton

    Feeling angry tonight and alone

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. atherton

      atherton

      Feel so stupid and angry with myself tonight. Too trusting, want so bad to be loved by them that I don't listen to my own feelings, what is wrong with me. I want so much to be normal. I don't want the nightmares, the panic attacks, to see T, to take anti-depressants, to want to cut, to apologize for my family. I want a normal life where my childhood was wonderful and my adult life is great. So sick of pretending everything is o.k. it isn't. why is there so much pain and why won't it go away? Is it too much to ask.

    3. snmls

      snmls

      There is nothing wrong with you atherton.  I want to be normal too. I wish I had more advice to give you, but I'm struggling with many of the same things.  Just know that you're not alone. 

    4. atherton

      atherton

      thank you snmls. I feel like I am barely hanging on lately, so much going on.

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