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atherton

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    Survivor

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  1. Not sure what is going on inside me. Had my doctors appointment, thought I was feeling o.k. and suggested maybe it was time to go off of the anti depressants, he thought it wasn't the right time. Had my therapy session and told him feeling fine and he didn't seem to believe me either. Perhaps they know me better, maybe I am fooling myself. Maybe I am pushing the feelings down again. Feeling like a failure. I have worked so hard to get better. Really I do feel o.k. he is dying and won't hurt anymore girls. I have been working very hard so that when my family does try to get in contact with me after he is gone, I will be able to say no, you killed me off for him, no I will not be there for you. Maybe they are looking out for me and know that I will need the drugs and the therapy to deal with my family. But really I feel strong. Sorry just don't get why they think they know me better than I know myself.

    sorry I am lying they know me better, I am lying to myself if I believe what I wrote. when do I get better? when do I not need therapy and drugs? when do I stop hurting?

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