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BCR

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    Female

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    Survivor
  1. Hey all, sorry it's taken so long to respond back. When I first joined the site I didn't realize you could "follow" topics and receive notifications, so I didn't realize anyone had responded back. I literally have tears running down my face after reading all the support above. I am amazed at how we can show so much love towards one another through our own suffering. Thank you all so much for taking the time to write the kind things that you did. mike, what you said really moved me. Every time I see how members of the lgbt community are disavowed by their family, my heart breaks because I know what that feels like, regardless of the reason why. I sincerely hope that you find a way to be the truest version of yourself to every one in your life. You deserve nothing less. Much love to all of you. Take care. -B
  2. BCR

    A Girl With Baggage

    Please go to youtube and watch a couple of talks by Brene Brown regarding your "shame story". She talks about how some people are unworthy of hearing about your struggle because they fail to support you. I was in the Army for 5 years, so I understand the lack of privacy in the military. I know that everyone knows everyone's business. I'm begging you, though, do not solicit this person's opinion again. It clearly upsets you and they are being unfair at best. You have been through a terrible trauma and no one has the right to tell you otherwise. You will get through this, but you will never "get over it". One does not simply "brush off" rape. As a side note, I wouldn't be surprised if this friend learned to cope with his own abuse by denying the severity of it. I bet it got easier for him to do with age, so he expects that with time you will minimize your trauma as well. Sometimes people give bad advice from a broken perspective.
  3. Hi, I'm new to the site. I've been struggling lately to feel validated in my healing process. I told my mom everything my brother did to me over the course of 6 years. I refused to attend his wedding this March, and when she found out, she called me a narcissist and said I needed to stop wallowing. To go through the humiliating process of telling your mom those details and have her shut you down so cruelly is devastating. When I lean on friends, it is amazing the level of compassion I get. It's just hard to feel worthy of support when your own mother denies you.
  4. Hey Min, I'm a 26 yr. old survivor of incest myself. I can totally relate to what you're feeling right now. Ollie is definitely right in saying that it isn't your fault at all. No matter what, he made the ultimate choice to re-offend, not you. Stay strong, we're all here for you.
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