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About kirix3

  • Birthday 03/03/1993

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    East Midlands, England

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  1. stat strong i love you <3 :)

  2. There are many points in my day where my head feels like it will explode. I am confused on so many aspects of my life, not just the fact that I have been raped. I sometimes wonder to myself "why me" .. But the answer to that question is: "why not me" Rape is something that I would not wish upon anyone in this world. There are so many women who never report or never seek out for help & guidance. So many horrendous sex crimes happen & go un-noticed. I sometimes wonder why God would plan this awful path for me yet sit there & quote about hope & forgiveness. But then I read chapters of His words, & realise that this is just a test. This has happened to make me stronger. He will give me the strength to continue with life when things get really bad. I like to imagine that I am a strong person. I never cry. Okay, well sometimes I do but that's a rare occasion. I try not to sit there feeling sorry for myself because there are so many individuals that are much worse off than me. I like to think that I give a good support network, because I would rather help other people, than people help me. If I could stop something bad happening to just one more person, then I feel I will have done a good job. If i could stop just one person's pain & wipe away their tears, then I will be satisfied for the rest of my life. I believe that everybody in this world has something good inside them, but I am struggling to see the good that rapists and sexual predators have inside them. Maybe they had a bad childhood, maybe something has happened to them to believe that it is the right thing to do. Or maybe they are just plain evil people. Sometimes i wonder if i could become any more naive...
  3. You are not alone, we are all in this together. I hope you find you are able to reach out to us for support. Message me if you would like to talk x
  4. Sometime's I have to remind myself who i am. i am Kirsty.. A 20 year old young woman with a whole life a head of her. I am a hard working individual with potential to do anything i want to do. I have a small but trustworthy support network. There are certain people who aren't around at the moment, but I can feel their warm & precious presence blowing through wind, shining from the stairs and being pumped from my heart like blood through my veins. I am a brave individual, an almost survivor. But most of all I am a broken woman. My heart has been broken into hundreds of pieces, my world has been broken into fear and anxiety, my life has been broken into three pieces. One piece is a happy, outgoing person. The other piece is a scared girl, almost child like fears. The other piece has been lost. And since Monday 1st April 2013, i can't seem to find the third piece. It's missing. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever find that missing piece. It's almost like an incomplete jigsaw puzzle; with one bit missing, it will not look the same. So what am I supposed to do today? Perhaps I should start with waking up in the morning. Yes, that's probably a positive start. Then maybe I should do what i'm supposed to do; wash the dishes, feed the dog, eat my breakfast & drink my juice. Then I should get ready for work & attend. Then what am I supposed to do? Do I just try & think positive thoughts or do I remember the painful memories? Do I laugh or do I cry? Do I call a friend round, or shall I sit on my own in the dark? Am I supposed to call for help or try & figure all this out on my own. I guess these are just questions that I have to answer myself.. However, how am I supposed to answer them when I do not know. So today. Today will bring the same day that I have every single day. Today will bring unanswered questions that I just can't seem to work out.
  5. I'm new too Welcome & i hope you find comfort from this site x
  6. Others are right, you're not alone! i hope you find this place soothing & as a source of support x
  7. Thanks for this post, i had the same question!
  8. hello, i'm new here too.. i hope this place helps you too.. & i hope you had a great mothers day as well x
  9. kirix3


    hi, i don't really know how to find myself on this site, but i'm new on here & hoping to find some support whilst waiting to hear the CPS desision on weather to charge them or not.. xx
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