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About Tangle

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    angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.

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    Las Vegas

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  1. How on earth did you find this "control panel"???? For some reason my account wouldn't let me access anything even though it recognized on the bottom that I was "online" (but wouldn't actually let me go beyond sign in page), so I requested a new password. This worked, obviously, but now I can't find any way of resetting my password. Searching for control panel only gave me this post, and can't find any link on my pages to let me reset?
  2. I think there is a tendency among survivors to wonder if our prolonged struggles are somehow melodramatic on our part. Partly because of reactions like your dad and his wife are demonstrating, but also partly because survivors have so many strengths (developed as part of survival) that we tend to appear strong in other areas of our lives. This apparent ability to function well SOMETIMES leads observers (and often our own self assessments) to doubt that the damage is really so bad ("because we function fine when not thinking about IT/triggered ...deception of inconsistency). Then it hits us aga
  3. This is a wonderful place for dealing with terrible things. First place I have ever felt safe enough to share details, and not regretted it later. So sorry you have reasons to be here, but so glad you found us and won't have to suffer alone!
  4. Here to support you, Hurt. Hope you are safe now!
  5. I also agree - break off your communication with him, and get help so he cannot hurt you when he gets out of boot camp. Go to your local rape crisis center and ask them for a list of resources in your area in case he comes back and you need help. I would also try to get a restraining order since he has threatened to hurt you again; the crisis center can advise you on this. Definitely contact some authority so that you have a back up escape plan (both a physical place to go and an emotional support person knowledgable about your situation and available to back you since it sounds like he has bo
  6. Welcome, and congratulations on writing it down without qualifications! That is a huge step to make:-). Also, it is wonderful that you have sought therapy and support so soon. Your courage and clarity will help you heal.
  7. Welcome Scartissue, glad you have joined. I don't think you will encounter much judgement here regarding whatever consensual relationship(s) you may have. I personally am very impressed with any survivor who has succeeded in developing any good sexual relationship. I see this part of your post more as potential role model material - you are one of those that figured out how to overcome trust and sexuality barriers to actually date someone... Good job, perhaps you will one day be sharing how-to hints if you become comfortable sharing that part of your story :-)
  8. I don't know if I think women always have more horrible experiences SB1944 (though certainly there are more of us suffering). I remember there being a little boy in my class who also was extra-picked on (like me), and at the time I thought it was worse for him because he was emotionally younger than I. Of course, I didn't know or understand about the sexual components (still only vague memories), but I was quite aware of the mind games my teacher played and thought he suffered even more than I because at least I learned not to show all of my feelings openly, where he was a much younger-seemin
  9. Tangle


    Well, strictly speaking it is my 30th anniversary of my school troubles, 10 th anniversary of an upsetting adult experience that has destabilized the earlier problem. This is my first support group, and the first year I am ready to talk about any of the problems directly. I am so glad to have found this site!!
  10. Welcome SoulaKai, I'm new too, and am impressed by your eloquent account! I dissociate with intimacy too, and think your succeeding with intimacy "a few times a month" is really good! I have never managed to stay emotionally involved through an entire encounter, but am glad to know you have sometimes overcome the distancing feeling. This is where I inevitably lost my therapists (that got as far as sex) - they either dismissed the problem because I lack impulsivity or strong emotional flashbacks, or made me feel guilty that I can't find "repressed" anger or fear for them to analyze. It is so va
  11. Tangle


    Thanks Lucy in the Sky! I have never had great luck with therapists, but have been reading up and working on my own for a decade or so... This past year or 2 I have started to really want to talk, but not yet with friends and definitely not where it might have professional implications! Alas, my last try with therapy resulted in work problems (insurance through work can undermine confidentiality), so I am not willing to go through that again. I am so glad to finally find a support group! I really want to know how other people are working through things like this, as this has been much more use
  12. Tangle


    New here, finally in! I had anniversary problems for the first time this year (10 years later), and was so delighted to find this site. But that was on Easter weekend, and this is the first time my account has let me log in and access stuff here... I am so glad the site is working now! It will be so nice to have a community to share experiences and questions with.
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