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phantomlord

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About phantomlord

  • Birthday 07/27/1992

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Seattle
  • Interests
    Music, movies, games of the video nature, guitar, writing, referencing things.

Previous Fields

  • MembershipType
    Survivor

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844 profile views
  1. I still can't believe I got to meet Megadeth. It was September 6th, 2011. My first concert without a parent. It was the American Carnage Tour with Slayer, Megadeth and Testament. I woke up at my dads house and got on the computer to get ahold of a friend to plan for the show. He was going out with someone at 1 and was supposed to be back by 2 or 3 at the latest. At 2, i get in my car and drive to his house with the tickets. See, mine was a Backstage Pass thing and I had to be at the venue at 4:30, while the doors into the arena opened at 5:30. I get to his house at 2:30 and he's not there. 3:30, still not home. I wait until 3:45 before i grab the envelope the tickets are in, take my stuff out, and write a note telling him that I would meet him after Testaments set by the Merch booth. He never has cash so i stuff $4 in the envelope for the bus, and I put it halfway under the doormat and i leave. I find parking at the arena and get out of the car, and walk to the massive banner that read something like I Love All Axess VIP enterance. It was so subtle. The woman there asked if i was there to meet Testament or Megadeth. So I tell her Megadeth, show her all of the information she needed and she led me inside to the VIP room. A few minutes later I found out that she was Chuck Billy's wife, who is the singer for Testament. The people there were already sitting at the tables drinking whatever they got from the drink bar, ad were talking. I sit by a guy who saw the Big 4 (Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth and Anthrax) in Sophia, Bulgeria, another guy around my age, and a married couple. We all got to talking and then the guys in Megadeth walk in. We all clap and table by table (4 or 5) we stand up and get in line to meet these thrash metal legends. We got a picture taken, and they all signed something for us. As I'm waiting, I realized that I had nothing except a piece of paper to get signed. One guy brought a Dean Flying V guitar. Most people had a CD or a piece of paper. Another guy brought the leather jacket that had Megadeth pins and a patch or two in it. But what made this jacket noteworthy was the epic airbrushed Peace Sells...But Who's Buying? Megadeth album cover. It was amazing. Hand painted from a friend of his in France. So its my turn and I got nothing when I walk up to bassist Dave Ellefson. I'm a blank slate and i always have something to say. So I say the first thing that comes to mind: Hi I'm Sam, and I shake his hand. He says hi Sam as i grin awkwardly thinking "he doesn't care what your name is, dummy." He signs the paper and i move on to the drummer Shawn Drover, and now, I have less than before because i was to nervous to say anything after the awkward (only to me) encounter with Ellefson. I say hi, shake hands, get paper signed and move on. Now I get to meet the lead guitarist, Chris Broderick who saves that meeting from being awkward by noticing that I'm wearing an Exodus tour shirt. "Oh nice shirt. I actually spoke with Gary Holt (Exodus lead guitarist) earlier this afternoon." We shake hands and he signs the paper as i ask how Gary Holt is doing. Smooth. So now I meet the singer, rythem guitarist Dave Mustaine. I look at him not sure what to say, and mentally noted that he needed to have and simply said 'Hi'. He signs the paper and its picture time. Never shook his hand. I had never felt stupider. Until the picture. We face the camera and I swear that Dave Mustaine put his arm around my shoulder, so I do something similar, but a foot further down. So from all outward appearances, when viewing the picture, it looks like I was grabbing his ass. Everyone said something and shook all their hands. I felt stupid. As they leave we all clap again and wish them a good show. The show was great. Testament was fantastic. Mid set, Chucj has the moshers do the wall of death, where the crowd splits in two and upon the singers command, they rush eachother. So this happens, I stayed back, and suddenly there is this large open space that I quickly decide to head for to get closer to the stage. That area immediately became the mosh pit. Chuck Billy came back on stage a couple minutes after their set ended to inform us that they were out of time because we kept chanting Test-A-Ment! I made my way to the Merch booth to find my friend. It was a bad idea. So many people. It took 10 minutes to find him. His dad got home from a work trip just as my friend was leaving to get a bus, but his dad game him a ride. He made it just in time for Testaments opening music. Megadeth were awesome. The technical precision they executed up there was beautiful. They played a great set. A bunch of drunk assholes started yelling "SLAAYYERRR" before Megadeth played their final song. It made my friend and I upset. Slayer closed the show, causing many mosh pits and ferocious head banging. That was so epic. They just blasted through their set like the legends they are. It was upsetting to hear them finish. After the show I drove my friend home and went to bed, very satisfied.
  2. The last half may trigger. I swore once or twice, sorry. It just fit best. I'm pretty sure that means 'what is this' in German, but I learned all of the German I know from a band. But what is this? I don't know quite yet. Perhaps I never will. I do know that this is where I'm going to talk about my life, but exactly what it will be about, I don't know. Everything from my past to my present and to my future. I might talk about my roommate, or music. Maybe a little about videogames and movies. I'm most certainly going to mention my girlfriend and son, considering how big a part they have in my life. But I'll talk mostly about my thoughts. I want to start off with a happy story, starring my roommate I'll call Brad. He just came back from class, and I was in bed taking a nap. He set up his laptop and comes into our room. I was awake enough to ask "whats up" and he says "where is my mouse?" The computer kind, not the rodent kind. I suppose he had a valid point I'm asking me: I've hidden it from him before. So I say that I don't know but he doesn't buy it. I get up and head into the main room and stop beside his desk, and pick up the mouse that was beside his computer. He managed to overlook it, but swears that it wasnt there before. I laughed. Moving on. I met my girlfriend, Mia, when we were freshmen in high school. Our friendship grew during the year and after freshman year, she left. We texted every day, continuing to grow our relationship as best we could. Eventually we fell in love, stupidly, considering we only texted. In our junior year, We made plans to hang out. We were deeply in love. Around that time I told her about it. I sparred the details and just told her the bare bones because I didn't want to overwhelm her. She took it better than I had expected. Then she told me about her verbal and very occasional physical abuse. We became much closer that day. Someday I hope to give her a more detailed account of what happened. I know she would love me just the same and that isn't the reason I'm scared to tell her. I'm scared of how I'll handle it. Tears, flashbacks, panic attacks...I don't know what will happen. I just know that she is on my side. Eventually I will. Relationships are hard. I know I'm not good at being a boyfriend but she sticks around no matter what. That's how much she loves me. Triggers ahead Am I a survivor? I lived through the attack so technically by the views here, I am. But somehow I haven't accepted that. I always view myself has a victim. My T used to tell me that I was a survivor but I never accepted it. Why? Because I lost. Plain and simple. He won and I lost. I didn't think of myself as a virgin afterwards either, even though everyone I have spoken too says that **** doesn't count. I can't truly rationalize these thoughts well, but I'll try. I call myself a victim because it fucks me me until this day. He stood over me, as I pleasured him. He was bigger, faster, and stronger. The things me did to me made him a victor, so to speak. If i was to see him again, I'd fall to my knees to do whatever it took to avoid the pain. He committed the worst possible crime, and got away with it. His ultimate act of dominance defeated me. He took my innocence and made me a victim. My virginity was lost to me that day. That's what I recently confessed to my girlfriend. That's not to say our first time together wasnt the most special thing ever. There was love. That got me through it. I'm not sure what the point of writing that is. Maybe its been weighing on me. I don't feel any different. I know I won't ever heal fully. That's not possible. But maybe by talking to everyone here, I'll heal more than i would have anyways. Thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm sorry if I broke any rules. I tried to abide to them best I could. And I'm sorry if this triggers anyone.
  3. Hey all, Thanks for the replies! I'm glad to have found a good support group, so to speak. The support means a lot, so thanks again!
  4. New person here. I'm a 20 year old guy from the Seattle area, but I go to school in Canada. I love movies, music, games, reading, writing and listening to the radio. I watch TV shows with my roommates all the time. Community, Psych, Castle, Blue Bloods and whatever else we got. "It" as I like to call it, happened when I was 13. It's been rough, but I have an awesome girlfriend who is very accommodating of what happened. Also I have a 6 month old baby boy named Shawn. He's cute and I love him. I can't tell if he loves me yet, because he is 6 months old. He has a butt chin. Someday I want to be on the radio. Talk show stuff. I like talking. My username is the title of the 7th song off Metallica's 1983 debut album Kill 'Em All. Phantom Lord. I'm half English, half Irish, my girlfriend is part Irish and Italian which makes our kid English, Irish, and Italian. I have met the guys in Megadeth, Machine Head, and Anthrax. I have 2 dogs. Oh, by the way, my name is Sam. So you all get to know me, than meet me. Like how Abed gave Jeff his life story before introducing himself. If you get that reference, let me know. That show is awesome. I'm glad to have found this place. I'll be sticking around for awhile. I present myself to people who know about what happened as cool, and calm, but its tearing me apart. I'm hoping to get better, so to speak. Thanks for taking the time to read all this and if not, I understand.
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